Episode Title: Breaking Free from People Pleasing: A Personal Rant
Episode Summary: In this special episode, Becky goes on a passionate rant about people-pleasing advice . Listen for insights that will change how you approach your relationships.
Highlights:
If you've ever found yourself putting others' needs before your own or struggling to voice your opinions, this episode is for you.
Connect with Becky:
Let's chat https://calendly.com/believefitness/45
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Tune in and discover how to break free from people-pleasing and create the fulfilling relationships you deserve!
Are you struggling to connect? Kelly & Shalece Fiack are back to share how Two-Way Prayer saved their marriage & can strengthen yours!
Get practical tips on:
Plus, a free Two-Way Prayer guide!
www.twowayprayer.org
kellyfiack@yahoo.com or Shalecefiack@yahoo.com
Let's have a chat to build a happier, resentment-free relationship! https://calendly.com/believefitness/45
This episode explores two-way prayer, a practice for deepening your connection with the divine. Kelly and Shalece Fiack discuss its history, how it can guide you, and how to incorporate it into your routine. Learn to listen for messages from your higher power and hear how others have benefited.
www.twowayprayer.org
kellyfiack@yahoo.com or Shalecefiack@yahoo.com
Let's chat https://calendly.com/believefitness/45
Feeling Burnt Out from People-Pleasing? You're Not Alone.
Do you ever feel like you're constantly seeking approval? Exhausted from always trying to fix things? In this episode, Lauren's story will resonate deeply if you've ever struggled with needing everyone to be Okay.
Discover how to:
Ready to break free and build the connections you deserve? Sign up for a free coaching session...
https://calendly.com/beckycoach/resentment-free-relationships
Follow Lauren on Instagram @your.mom.coach
Building a House of Repair: Embracing Mistakes and Growth
In this episode, we explore the concept of 'building a house of repair, not perfection,' and how this mindset can transform family dynamics and personal growth.
00:00 Introduction and Summer Greetings
00:13 Introducing the Concept: House of Repair, Not Perfection
01:25 Perfectionism vs. Progress
03:31 Embracing Mistakes and Learning
06:27 Practical Tips for Building a House of Repair
07:34 Final Thoughts and Weekly Challenge
Acknowledging and accepting your partner's feelings without agreeing with them is crucial for building a strong connection. Understanding the difference between validation and agreement, using active listening techniques, managing frustrations without defensiveness, and resolving conflicts constructively is essential. This guide aims to improve relationship dynamics, reduce conflict, and foster a deeper connection with your partner. Let's talk. Sign up now. https://calendly.com/beckycoach/resentment-free-relationships
00:00 Welcome Back & Today's Focus on Validation
00:22 Understanding Validation in Relationships
03:44 Key Points on Validation and Emotional Connection
04:58 Practical Tips for Validating Your Partner
06:46 Real-Life Scenario: Handling Household Chores
09:38 The Impact of Validation in Personal Relationships
10:46 Conclusion: The Journey of Improving Validation
Becky discusses the challenges of dealing with a partner's defensiveness during conflicts, particularly for those who often prioritize others' needs over their own. Click here for a safe space to talk. https://calendly.com/beckycoach/resentment-free-relationships
.00:00 Introduction to Navigating Partner Defensiveness
00:45 Lessons from Bear Lake
02:02 Understanding Partner Defensiveness and Conflict
03:01 Strategies for Managing Defensiveness and Conflict
05:33 Setting Boundaries and Self-Care During Conflict1
4:48 Conclusion and Invitation for Further Support
This episode delves into the concept of personal authority Becky discusses the significance of reflecting on our responses, actions, and feelings to own our personal authority.
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
00:04 Exploring Dog Training and Personal Growth
01:29 The Concept of Inner Authority
02:05 Applying Inner Authority in Personal Relationships
04:39 Empowering Yourself Through Inner Authority
06:23 Conclusion and Reflections
In this episode, host Becky delves into the unique experience of re-listening to a book she had read years ago, 'What Alice Forgot' by Liane Moriarty. Re-experiencing the book offered her new insights, emphasizing how different stages of life can alter one's interpretation of a story. The narrative of Alice, who forgets a decade of her life, serves as a foundation for Becky to explore the significance of perspective in shaping our understanding of ourselves and our relationships. She highlights the positive changes in Alice's interactions when she views her life through the lens of her younger self, noting the decrease in defensiveness and increase in empathy. Becky extends these fictional themes into real-life applications, suggesting introspective questions that encourage curiosity and empathy to improve personal relationships. The episode aims to inspire listeners to consider their past and future selves in navigating current challenges, promoting a mindset of growth and openness.
00:00 Welcome to the Podcast: A Rare Dive into Rereading
01:05 Rediscovering 'What Alice Forgot': A Journey of Perspective
02:11 Exploring the Impact of Perspective Through Alice's Story
03:18 The Power of Perspective: Lessons from Alice's Experience
05:43 Applying Fictional Insights to Real-Life Relationships
08:23 Practical Steps to Embrace Curiosity and Reduce Defensiveness
09:38 Final Thoughts and Encouragement to Explore New Perspectives
Becky delves into the concept of 'hidden dreams' within relationships, drawing on insights from John and Julie Gottman's work on healthy conflict. Becky highlights how perpetual arguments often mask deeper, unexpressed desires and values. Through the lens of the Gottmans' personal experience and a detailed example of their methodology, she illustrates the transformative potential of uncovering and empathizing with these hidden dreams for resolving conflicts. The episode emphasizes the significance of thoughtful questioning in revealing underlying aspirations and acknowledges that, although not all conflicts are solvable, their manageability improves with mutual understanding and empathy. Becky encourages listeners to embrace the role of a 'dream catcher' in their own relationships and shares avenues for feedback and further discussion on this vital topic.
00:00 Welcome to the Healthy Conflict Series: Unveiling Hidden Dreams
00:21 Understanding Perpetual Arguments in Relationships
01:32 The Gottmans' Discovery: The Technique of Hidden Dreams
01:56 The Iceberg of Conflict: Uncovering Hidden Dreams and Values
02:58 Judging Desires: The Pitfall of Value Judgments in Relationships
03:57 A Real-Life Example: The Gottmans' Cabin Conflict
05:29 The Power of Understanding and Dialogue
08:33 Practical Steps: Questions to Uncover Hidden Dreams
10:30 The Unsolvable Nature of Some Conflicts and the Value of Empathy
11:24 Applying the Dream Catcher Technique in Your Life1
2:28 Conclusion and Invitation to Share Your Experiences
https://calendly.com/beckycoach/resentment-free-relationships
In Becky's 200th podcast episode, she talks about handling conflicts well. She starts where the last episode ended and talks about the third step: calming yourself and the other person down during arguments by taking breaks or doing calming activities like breathing exercises. Then, she talks about the fourth step: compromising, which she says isn't a bad thing but should be done in a fair way that respects everyone's views. She shares a personal story about resolving a conflict. The fifth step is about dealing with the deeper reasons behind conflicts. Becky wraps up by summarizing the steps and saying that dealing with conflict can bring people closer. She also mentions a webinar coming up where she'll talk more about handling conflicts healthily.
00:00 Celebrating 200 Episodes: A Milestone Moment
00:31 Diving Into Healthy Conflict: Steps to Navigate Disagreements
01:01 Soothing Strategies: Managing Emotional Flooding in Conflicts
04:28 The Art of Compromise: Finding Middle Ground
08:17 Addressing Emotional Injuries: Beyond the Surface of Conflict
10:37 Wrapping Up: Recap and Looking Forward
In this episode, we delve into the second step of the five-step series on resolving conflict, as taught by the Gottman Institute. The focus is on making and receiving repair attempts to manage conflicts effectively. The host, Becky, emphasizes the importance of starting conflicts softly, avoiding the 'four horsemen' that escalate fights, and adopting positive repair attempts. Techniques such as using 'I feel' statements, staying polite, and employing the Gottman repair checklist are discussed. The podcast also addresses the challenge of practicing these methods, especially for individuals prone to being people pleasers or suffering from codependency. Becky concludes with an invitation to an upcoming webinar that aims to help listeners foster healthy connections through better conflict management.
00:00 Welcome & Series Introduction
00:15 Recap: The First Step to Resolving Conflict
01:09 Deep Dive: Techniques for a Soft Startup
02:43 Understanding the Purpose of Conflict Resolution Techniques
04:27 Introducing Step Two: Making and Receiving Repair Attempts
05:47 Exploring Positive Repair Attempts
08:27 Practical Tips: Implementing Repair Attempts in Daily Life
08:53 The Importance of Practice and Persistence
09:39 Invitation to an Upcoming Webinar on Healthy Conflict
10:50 Closing Thoughts and Goodbye
This episode features insights from John and Julie Gottman's research on conflict in marriage, advocating for healthy disagreement as a key component of intimacy and trust in relationships. Host Becky debunks myths about conflict-free marriages, introduces the concept of 'soft startup' for resolving disagreements, and discusses how to avoid the 'four horsemen of the apocalypse' (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) for better communication.
00:00 Welcome to the Healthy Conflict Series
00:11 The Importance of Healthy Conflict in Marriage
00:45 Learning from the Gottmans: Embracing Conflict for Intimacy
03:30 Understanding Your Conflict Culture
04:08 The Gottmans' Five Steps to Resolving Conflict
05:19 Identifying and Overcoming the Four Horsemen
10:01 Self-Reflection and Improvement Exercise
14:09 Practicing Healthy Conflict Responses
15:30 Homework and Preview for Next Week
Refreshing Your Culture of Conflict
In this podcast episode, Becky discusses the importance of recognizing and improving the culture of conflict within marriages. She draws an analogy between renovating a home and refreshing a relationship's approach to conflict, emphasizing the need to identify and change unproductive behaviors and thoughts. Despite the challenges, the effort made to enhance conflict resolution is valuable, aiming to strengthen relationships. Becky encourages listeners to engage with the series to learn about fostering healthy conflict and better disagreement practices in marriage.00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:45 Understanding Conflict in Relationships01:57 The Importance of Awareness in Conflict Resolution02:40 Home Refresh: A Metaphor for Conflict Resolution04:41 The Process of Refreshing Your Conflict Culture05:39 The Cost and Reward of Conflict Resolution07:08 The Value of Relationships and Conflict Resolution07:38 Conclusion: The Journey to Healthy Conflict
In this podcast, the host, Becky, discusses a common question asked by her coaching clients about managing emotional responsibility towards the feelings of others. She explains the challenge faced by empathetic individuals who are closely connected with their family, friends, or colleagues and feel obliged to take on their emotions. She discusses the importance of awareness of this emotional over-responsibility and offers advice on tolerating discomfort associated with others' feelings. Some recommended thoughts to help maintain emotional separation include acknowledging that other people's emotions are not about oneself, and understanding that one cannot fix someone else's feelings. Becky emphasizes the importance of acceptance and letting go of the need to change or take responsibility for others' emotions.
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast00:16 Understanding Emotional Over-Responsibility00:52 The Double-Edged Sword of Empathy01:44 Example of Emotional Over-Responsibility03:09 Steps to Let Go of Over-Responsibility04:12 Thoughts to Help Tolerate Uncomfortable Situations07:33 Visualizing Emotional Boundaries08:12 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Rebuilding Trust and Dating after Divorce
In this episode, host Becky answers a question about recovery and dating after divorce. She emphasizes the importance of thorough grieving and the role of forgiveness in healing. She asserts the necessity of building self-trust and confidence, and the ability to manage negative emotions to be ready to date again. She encourages viewing adversities as growth opportunities. Becky ends by offering a free consultation session to listeners for further assistance. https://calendly.com/believefitness/45
00:00 Introduction and Podcast Purpose
01:01 Addressing Listener's Question: Post-Divorce Recovery
02:01 Understanding the Grieving Process
02:32 Recognizing and Processing Pain
04:46 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Forgiveness
06:08 Building Trust and Dating Post-Divorce
08:27 The Power of Self-Confidence in Dating
12:08 Embracing Adversity as an Opportunity for Growth
13:02 Recap and Closing Remarks
Overcoming Codependency and People Pleasing: Five Pillars of Resentment-Free Relationships
In this Valentine's Day-themed podcast episode, Becky addresses resentments that often affect relationships due to codependency and people-pleasing behaviors. Becky offers a 12-week coaching package introducing five pillars for healthier relationships, free from resentment.
The first pillar is 'Selfhood' where individuals work on building confidence and identity. The second pillar involves learning to have 'Healthy Conflict' while managing anger and learning assertiveness. In the third pillar, 'Emotional Support', individuals learn to understand and manage their feelings. The fourth pillar 'Boundaries' revolves around the understanding of being assertive without feeling guilt. The fifth and final pillar helps in understanding 'Codependency and People Pleasing Tendencies' and how to support people without being overly responsible for their emotions. You are invited to contact Becky via Instagram or to book a call through a link in the show notes if interested in her coaching package.
00:01 Introduction and Valentine's Day Reflections
00:46 Invitation to Work with the Coach
01:16 Understanding Resentment in Relationships
01:42 Five Pillars to Overcome People Pleasing and Codependency
02:22 Pillar One: Selfhood
04:59 Pillar Two: Healthy Conflict
07:04 Pillar Three: Emotional Support
08:18 Pillar Four: Boundaries
09:19 Pillar Five: Understanding Codependency and People Pleasing
10:42 Recap of the Five Pillars
11:47 Invitation to Connect and Conclusion
Learn five strategies for dealing with a grumpy family member: not taking the bad mood personally, resisting the urge to 'fix' the other person's emotion, reflecting on their feelings by verbalizing empathy, asking open-ended questions to understand their situation, and setting healthy boundaries. The message throughout is helping listeners to understand better, respond to, and navigate grumpiness in their relationships without attributing it to their self-worth, granting valid space for emotions to come and go in a respectful and caring manner
.00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
00:08 Understanding the Grumpy Mood
00:19 Don't Take It Personally
01:11 Avoid Trying to Fix the Mood
01:51 Reflecting on Their Feelings
03:36 Asking the Right Questions
04:14 Setting Healthy Boundaries
05:23 Recap and Conclusion
Welcome to "Resentment Free Relationships" with your host, Becky. In this episode, she celebrates the podcast's nearly five-year journey, expressing gratitude to listeners. She dives into the Self-Coaching model by Brooke Castillo, a key tool in her life coaching practice. Becky guides you through its five elements: circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results. She also introduces the Law of Creation model by Brooke Snow, offering a different perspective. Both models aim to raise awareness in thoughts, feelings, and actions, as foundational tools for self-improvement.