DESCRIPTION:



Learn what it means to be a perfectionist and how you can reduce your ADHD perfectionist tendencies as an adult with ADHD



TRANSCRIPT:



(00:02):



Is perfectionism getting in your way? You’ve tuned into Scattered Focus, done re-Imagining Productivity with ADHD, a podcast for ADHD, adults like you who want to learn how to adopt the best strategies, tools, and skills to be able to get your essential work done in a way that works with the way your brain is wired. I’m Marla Cummins, and I’m glad you decided to join me today on this journey to reimagining productivity with ADHD so you can get what is important to you done without trying to do it like everyone else.



(00:40):



A perfectionist is someone who is unyielding in their pursuit of unrealistically high standards. So you may wonder what is an unrealistically high standard? Good question. Whether a standard is unrealistically high depends on your capacity and the context. Here are a couple examples. Let’s say an entrepreneur has built several businesses and she decides to build a six figure business in one year.



(01:11):



This might be reasonable for her, but if you try to do it and have never built a business, then that might be an unrealistically high standard. Similarly, for someone who runs regularly, preparing for a 5K in a month may be doable, but if you don’t run it all, this might be yes, an unrealistically high standard. You might think it doesn’t make sense to strive for such unrealistic goals. However, a perfectionist does not think the goals are unrealistic.



(01:46):



If you are a perfectionist, you may have come to be a perfectionist in part because of your ADHD. One way this may happen is when you’re trying to make up for actual or perceived failures in your past. Now you just want to get it right. Well, there may be many root causes for your perfectionism like having ADHD. The reason you continue to be a perfectionist is because you think one of the following is true.



(02:19):



Either others will only value you if you’re perfect or you will only value yourself if you’re perfect. Where do you see this thinking in your life? So is perfectionism ever helpful? Of course, there’s nothing wrong with trying to excel at something by setting high standards, but perfectionism is never helpful. The key difference between perfectionism and setting high standards is whether the plans and goals are yes, realistic or not. It’s fine when the high is well high and the plans and goals are well realistic.



(03:05):



The key to avoiding perfectionism is being flexible enough to change your plans and goals along the way. If they seem unrealistic, I don’t think I’m going to make it. When you’re a perfectionist, you have black and white thinking and either you reach the high standard you set with the exact plan you created or you may think you’re a failure.



(03:31):



You can think of perfectionism as an unyielding task master that prevents you from making decisions that fit the circumstances and your capacity, whatever the task may be. You might also be a perfectionism in some context and not in others. For example, you may be comfortable experimenting in the kitchen and don’t worry about getting everything done perfectly, but you might decide you won’t play adult soccer league unless you can play like you did in high school.



(04:06):



The first step in changing your perfectionist tendencies is to...