Theresa has lived many lives... across continents, careers, and versions of herself. From a childhood in Zimbabwe and South Africa to teenage years in Portugal and now life in Carlisle, she’s spent years learning what it means to belong, to rebuild, and to finally take up space as the adult version of herself.
In this conversation, she talks about movement, motherhood, grief, and growing into the kind of woman who calls her own shots. The kind who’s learned that strength isn’t about pretending everything’s fine, it’s about owning the whole story, even the messy chapters.
If you’ve ever felt like you’ve been performing someone else’s version of your life, or you’re just tired of holding it all together, this one’s for you.
Listen if you:
Feel like you’ve been “fine” for too long and want something more real
Keep shape-shifting to fit where you are but never quite feel at home
Need a reminder that confidence can come later in life, and that’s okay
Are trying to make peace with the messier parts of your story
Lessons from her story:
Moments:
00:00 – Intro: Why Fridays, fish and chips, and reality TV matter more than you think
07:00 – From Zimbabwe to Portugal: what constant movement teaches you about belonging
16:30 – When change feels forced: teenage years, loss, and learning to adapt
28:00 – Work, McDonald’s, and 2 a.m. cinemas — joy in the middle of chaos
30:20 – Creating community wherever you land
45:00 – How grief led Theresa to her calling as a celebrant
51:00 – Owning your story (and the shit bits too)
57:00 – What’s next for “badass Theresa”
Memorable quotes:
“Five-year-old me was kind of running the show. Adult me actually knows what she’s doing and she can run the show.”
“Sometimes we’ve just got to talk about the shit things too — not just the ones that happen to us, but the ones we do. It’s all part of our story.”
“I always say the things other people don’t say. I get those looks like, ‘Oh gosh, you said that,’ and I’m like, yeah, I did.”
“If women are confident, it often comes across as something else. But it isn’t. I’ve stepped into my adult shoes — I’m properly living my life.”
“Granny made me become a celebrant. She didn’t follow her dreams, so I’m making sure I follow mine.”
About the Podcast
We’re Done Pretending is a Reflective Rebels podcast hosted by Ben Hickman. Real conversations about the beautiful, messy muddle of being human. No quick fixes. No corporate masks. Just honest stories about joy, loss, identity, and the work of becoming ourselves again.
Coaching: If this conversation resonated and you’re ready to find a life that feels good to you, email ben@reflectiverebels.co.uk.
Follow Reflective Rebels: https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/ on Instagram
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Read Theresa’s writing: https://substack.com/@theresawritesnow