Control is rooted in fear. Trust is rooted in strength. And when you shift from control to trust, you become a better leader.
Control often stems from a fear of being judged, a fear of things going wrong, or a fear of losing influence. I used to believe that control equals competence. The more I managed outcomes, the more successful we would be. But what I eventually learned is that control does not create confidence; it kills it.
Trust, on the other hand, unlocks potential. It multiplies leadership. It builds teams who think critically, act boldly, and take ownership for results.
In this episode of Reflect Forward, I share how I transformed my leadership by moving from control to trust and why this shift changed everything for me, for StoneAge, and for my team.
The turning point
During the pandemic, everything changed. Suddenly, I was not in the office every day. People could not walk into my office for a quick answer or to bounce ideas off me. At first, it was disorienting. If I were not the glue holding everything together, what value did I bring?
But something surprising happened: my team flourished. They made smart decisions, collaborated effectively, and solved problems without me. That was the moment I realized I had been the roadblock. My need for control, disguised as involvement, had held them back.
It was humbling to realize that control does not build leaders. Trust does.
As Stephen M. R. Covey says, “Control leads to compliance. Trust leads to commitment.” That realization became one of the most important lessons of my leadership journey.
The three dimensions of trust
Over time, I developed a simple framework to guide me in leading with trust instead of control.
1. Competence – Believe in their capability.
Trust that your people can figure things out, even if they do it differently than you.
2. Character – Believe in their integrity.
Know that they will do what is right, even when you are not watching.
3. Connection – Show them they matter.
Why trust matters
According to research by Paul Zak published in Harvard Business Review, employees in high trust companies report 74 percent less stress, 106 percent more energy, and 50 percent higher productivity than those in low trust environments.
Trust is not soft; it is smart. It is the foundation of ownership, performance, and innovation.
As Sheryl Sandberg put it, “Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.” That is exactly what trust does.
Mic drop moments
• “Control does not build leaders. Trust does.”
• “Ownership and control cannot coexist.”
• “When I stopped trying to control everything, I found something I did not expect: freedom.”
• “Coaching is adding considerations without taking back the decision.”
Key takeaways
1. Control is rooted in fear. Trust is rooted in strength. Check your motives before you step in.
2. You cannot create ownership without giving up control. Ownership requires autonomy.
3. Trust is active, not passive. Equip people, ask better questions, and coach instead of direct.
4. Develop thinkers, not followers. Build people’s confidence in their own judgment.
5. Letting go multiplies your influence. When you lead with trust, leadership spreads.
Connect with Kerry
Visit my website, kerrysiggins.com, to explore my book, The Ownership Mindset, and get more leadership resources. Let’s connect on LinkedIn, Instagram, or TikTok!
Find Reflect Forward on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kerrysiggins-reflectforward
Find out more about my book here: https://kerrysiggins.com/the-ownership-mindset/
Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerry-siggins/
All content for Reflect Forward is the property of Kerry Siggins and is served directly from their servers
with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Control is rooted in fear. Trust is rooted in strength. And when you shift from control to trust, you become a better leader.
Control often stems from a fear of being judged, a fear of things going wrong, or a fear of losing influence. I used to believe that control equals competence. The more I managed outcomes, the more successful we would be. But what I eventually learned is that control does not create confidence; it kills it.
Trust, on the other hand, unlocks potential. It multiplies leadership. It builds teams who think critically, act boldly, and take ownership for results.
In this episode of Reflect Forward, I share how I transformed my leadership by moving from control to trust and why this shift changed everything for me, for StoneAge, and for my team.
The turning point
During the pandemic, everything changed. Suddenly, I was not in the office every day. People could not walk into my office for a quick answer or to bounce ideas off me. At first, it was disorienting. If I were not the glue holding everything together, what value did I bring?
But something surprising happened: my team flourished. They made smart decisions, collaborated effectively, and solved problems without me. That was the moment I realized I had been the roadblock. My need for control, disguised as involvement, had held them back.
It was humbling to realize that control does not build leaders. Trust does.
As Stephen M. R. Covey says, “Control leads to compliance. Trust leads to commitment.” That realization became one of the most important lessons of my leadership journey.
The three dimensions of trust
Over time, I developed a simple framework to guide me in leading with trust instead of control.
1. Competence – Believe in their capability.
Trust that your people can figure things out, even if they do it differently than you.
2. Character – Believe in their integrity.
Know that they will do what is right, even when you are not watching.
3. Connection – Show them they matter.
Why trust matters
According to research by Paul Zak published in Harvard Business Review, employees in high trust companies report 74 percent less stress, 106 percent more energy, and 50 percent higher productivity than those in low trust environments.
Trust is not soft; it is smart. It is the foundation of ownership, performance, and innovation.
As Sheryl Sandberg put it, “Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.” That is exactly what trust does.
Mic drop moments
• “Control does not build leaders. Trust does.”
• “Ownership and control cannot coexist.”
• “When I stopped trying to control everything, I found something I did not expect: freedom.”
• “Coaching is adding considerations without taking back the decision.”
Key takeaways
1. Control is rooted in fear. Trust is rooted in strength. Check your motives before you step in.
2. You cannot create ownership without giving up control. Ownership requires autonomy.
3. Trust is active, not passive. Equip people, ask better questions, and coach instead of direct.
4. Develop thinkers, not followers. Build people’s confidence in their own judgment.
5. Letting go multiplies your influence. When you lead with trust, leadership spreads.
Connect with Kerry
Visit my website, kerrysiggins.com, to explore my book, The Ownership Mindset, and get more leadership resources. Let’s connect on LinkedIn, Instagram, or TikTok!
Find Reflect Forward on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kerrysiggins-reflectforward
Find out more about my book here: https://kerrysiggins.com/the-ownership-mindset/
Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerry-siggins/
I Took a Solo Vacation and Came Back a Better Leader — Here’s Why
Reflect Forward
26 minutes 19 seconds
3 months ago
I Took a Solo Vacation and Came Back a Better Leader — Here’s Why
Most leaders travel alone for work. But how many take a real solo vacation—just for themselves, not for business?
I recently took my first-ever solo trip through Peru and Ecuador, and it changed me. I reconnected with myself. I reflected deeply. I came back more grounded, clear, and confident as a leader.
In this episode of Reflect Forward, I share why every leader should consider a solo vacation, how it strengthens your leadership, and how you can plan a meaningful trip that resets your mindset and helps you lead with intention.
Why Solo Time Is Essential for Modern Leaders
1. Clarity requires solitude
2. Breaking routine unlocks creativity
3. Being alone builds self-leadership
4. Presence deepens connection
How to Take a Transformational Solo Vacation
• Choose a place that stretches you—culturally, spiritually, physically
• Unplug completely—no work emails, no “just checking in”
• Journal and reflect—capture what you learn
• Say yes to connection—talk to strangers, share stories
• Pay attention to your thoughts—notice what comes up in the stillness
Key Takeaways
1. Solo time is a powerful leadership tool
2. Travel breaks patterns and expands your thinking
3. Self-trust comes from being alone and handling challenges
4. Presence builds deeper, more authentic relationships
5. Insight and clarity are born in stillness, not hustle
Mic Drop Moment
“You cannot lead others from a place of internal chaos or disconnection. But when you take time to be alone, you find clarity, and that transforms everything.”
Call to Action
Book the trip. Go somewhere alone. Reflect. Get uncomfortable. You’ll come back more empowered, present, and effective as a leader and as a human.
Episode Timestamps
00:00 – Intro: Why solo vacations matter for leadership
02:30 – My first solo trip to Peru and Ecuador
05:12 – Creating my Dreams List and making the trip happen
07:45 – The emotional arc: excitement, fear, empowerment, loneliness
10:20 – How solo travel differs from solo business travel
13:05 – Reflection as the foundation of self-leadership
15:12 – Why clarity requires solitude (HBR statistic)
17:28 – Breaking routine to gain perspective and creativity
20:40 – What Columbia Business School says about novel experiences
22:30 – Strengthening self-leadership through solo challenges
26:00 – Realizing I like myself: processing growth and healing
28:44 – Presence, stillness, and the power of being with yourself
30:50 – Connecting deeply with strangers while traveling alone
33:20 – Why authentic presence builds better leadership
35:40 – The most common excuses leaders make—and how to challenge them
40:22 – How to take a transformational solo vacation: 5 tips
45:18 – Key takeaways from the experience
48:30 – Final thoughts and call to action: Book the trip
If you liked this…
Don’t forget to subscribe to Reflect Forward on your favorite podcast platform or YouTube. Visit my website, kerrysiggins.com, to explore my book, The Ownership Mindset, and get more leadership resources. Let’s connect on LinkedIn, Instagram, or TikTok!
Find Reflect Forward on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kerrysiggins-reflectforward
Find out more about my book here: https://kerrysiggins.com/the-ownership-mindset/
Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerry-siggins/
Reflect Forward
Control is rooted in fear. Trust is rooted in strength. And when you shift from control to trust, you become a better leader.
Control often stems from a fear of being judged, a fear of things going wrong, or a fear of losing influence. I used to believe that control equals competence. The more I managed outcomes, the more successful we would be. But what I eventually learned is that control does not create confidence; it kills it.
Trust, on the other hand, unlocks potential. It multiplies leadership. It builds teams who think critically, act boldly, and take ownership for results.
In this episode of Reflect Forward, I share how I transformed my leadership by moving from control to trust and why this shift changed everything for me, for StoneAge, and for my team.
The turning point
During the pandemic, everything changed. Suddenly, I was not in the office every day. People could not walk into my office for a quick answer or to bounce ideas off me. At first, it was disorienting. If I were not the glue holding everything together, what value did I bring?
But something surprising happened: my team flourished. They made smart decisions, collaborated effectively, and solved problems without me. That was the moment I realized I had been the roadblock. My need for control, disguised as involvement, had held them back.
It was humbling to realize that control does not build leaders. Trust does.
As Stephen M. R. Covey says, “Control leads to compliance. Trust leads to commitment.” That realization became one of the most important lessons of my leadership journey.
The three dimensions of trust
Over time, I developed a simple framework to guide me in leading with trust instead of control.
1. Competence – Believe in their capability.
Trust that your people can figure things out, even if they do it differently than you.
2. Character – Believe in their integrity.
Know that they will do what is right, even when you are not watching.
3. Connection – Show them they matter.
Why trust matters
According to research by Paul Zak published in Harvard Business Review, employees in high trust companies report 74 percent less stress, 106 percent more energy, and 50 percent higher productivity than those in low trust environments.
Trust is not soft; it is smart. It is the foundation of ownership, performance, and innovation.
As Sheryl Sandberg put it, “Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.” That is exactly what trust does.
Mic drop moments
• “Control does not build leaders. Trust does.”
• “Ownership and control cannot coexist.”
• “When I stopped trying to control everything, I found something I did not expect: freedom.”
• “Coaching is adding considerations without taking back the decision.”
Key takeaways
1. Control is rooted in fear. Trust is rooted in strength. Check your motives before you step in.
2. You cannot create ownership without giving up control. Ownership requires autonomy.
3. Trust is active, not passive. Equip people, ask better questions, and coach instead of direct.
4. Develop thinkers, not followers. Build people’s confidence in their own judgment.
5. Letting go multiplies your influence. When you lead with trust, leadership spreads.
Connect with Kerry
Visit my website, kerrysiggins.com, to explore my book, The Ownership Mindset, and get more leadership resources. Let’s connect on LinkedIn, Instagram, or TikTok!
Find Reflect Forward on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kerrysiggins-reflectforward
Find out more about my book here: https://kerrysiggins.com/the-ownership-mindset/
Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerry-siggins/