In this episode, I speak with Lisa Wade, Associate Professor of Sociology at Tulane University, whose research examines gender, sexuality, and culture. She is best known for her groundbreaking book American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus, which explores how social norms, power, and inequality shape the way young people learn about intimacy.
We talk about what it means to live in a society full of social scripts—unwritten rules that govern how we express desire, show affection, and understand freedom. Lisa explains how hookup culture emerged in the mid-1990s and how it reflects broader political and economic shifts, including the rise of neoliberalism and the feminist movement’s complicated legacy. She shows how many college students find themselves trapped between contradictory messages: be liberated, but not emotional; be free, but not vulnerable.
Our conversation dives into shame, pleasure, and the myths of sexual liberation. We discuss how cultural expectations privilege masculine forms of sexuality, why many young people struggle to assert kindness and care in their intimate lives, and what it might mean to create a more humane and inclusive culture of desire.
Chapter:
00:00 – Introduction: Closing Season 10 with Lisa Wade
02:00 – The origins of her interest in sexuality and culture
06:00 – Understanding cultural and social scripts
10:00 – How globalization and technology have reshaped dating
13:00 – The birth of hookup culture in the 1990s
18:00 – The role of feminism and neoliberalism in shaping sex
24:00 – The contradictions of modern desire and emotional detachment
30:00 – Students navigating shame, independence, and vulnerability
35:00 – Opting out of hookup culture and its social costs
40:00 – The myth of sexual liberation and the persistence of inequality
45:00 – Whose pleasure matters most? The gendered politics of orgasm
50:00 – Sex positivity and the pressure to be “game for anything”
54:00 – Rethinking freedom, kindness, and care in intimacy
56:00 – Closing reflections: How culture teaches us to love
