I thought honesty was just not lying to other people, but I’ve learned that it starts within. When I got sober, I could see the hiding and breaking promises, but I couldn’t see the lies I was telling myself. I began to look at my motives, fears, and excuses throughout the day. I had to stop justifying my behavior and pretending I was fine when I wasn’t. Honesty requires presence. I can’t be honest about what’s happening right now if I’m stuck in yesterday or tomorrow. I need a constant check-in with myself, Am I doing the best I can right now? Or am I avoiding getting uncomfortable? That self-awareness without judgment invites growth.
I still make excuses for my character defects, mostly to protect my ego. But when I notice it happening, I recognize it as an opportunity to grow. Honesty is giving yourself permission to be vulnerable. Being honest keeps me spiritually awake and connected to reality. And as a professional irrational thinker, I have to work at not making up stories in my head about what I think everyone else is thinking.
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