Breakups hurt... even when you’re the one who ended it.
In this episode, counsellor Tracey Quayle (20+ years’ experience) and her husband Scott share a compassionate, practical guide for the first days and weeks: what to do, what to avoid, and how to rebuild with clarity.
What we cover
The different types of breakups (amicable vs blindsided; leaver vs left) and why the experience feels so different
Why the leaver also needs support - and how to ask for it
Day-one self-care: making space to feel it (yes, the ugly cry), nervous-system regulation, and leaning on your people
The social media trap: why your ex’s highlight reel isn’t the truth
“Perpetual problems” in relationships (and what to learn from them)
Scott’s story: the guilt of breaking up and the regret of trying again!
The “New Partner List” exercise: turn red flags into green standards before you date again
Boundaries, self-respect, and being gentle while you rebuild
Creating things to look forward to
Who this episode is for
If you’ve just been through a breakup, you’re considering ending a relationship, or you’re trying to make sense of what happened, this is for you!
Try this (from the episode)
Before you date again, write your New Partner List:
– What didn’t work last time? Flip each “don’t want” into a clear “must have”.
– What behaviours help you feel safe, seen and respected?
– What are your non-negotiables?
If this helped, please: follow/subscribe, leave a review, and share this with someone who needs it. It genuinely helps the show reach more people.
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Disclaimer: This podcast is for information only and isn’t a substitute for personalised therapy.
