We start off at a slumber party in a cabin in the woods where El uses her psychic abilities to spy on people and she gets scared of a fart and a possible murder. This is not the babysitters club people, this slumber party is almost as weird as the ones in Jessica Jones (inside joke with myself)
Hopper comes home drunk and stood up but he's happy his daughter is making out with Max instead of Mike now because she's just way cooler than him. (kidding, well not about Max being cooler because she is, but the rest of it)
Steve, Dustin and Robin are doing a better job of defending the country than anyone has since the 1960s by spying on a jazzercize class and hopping up on tables in the mall and yes they are still doing a better job of catching Russian spies than Brenner and the actual government irl
Joyce tells Hopper she was in the same room as another man for important reasons and his man brain can't handle that because he's suddenly an annoying jealous bf, even though he's not her bf at all... chill out Hopper, I know you are better than this. But he promises to take her on a date at the place were all her troubles came from and where her last bf died which is a great idea...
Mike and Lucas are simping over their exes who are way too busy tracking down a missing lifeguard and having a good time to care about stupid boys but when Will wants the boys to stop caring about "stupid girls" Mike does an accidental homophobia and then feels bad... dude you should have just played D&D because you trying to do things in the real world just pisses everyone you care about off badly... you are not good at real life...
Nancy tries really hard to get men in suits in the 1980s to stop being misogynist A-holes and take her seriously and girl... this runs in the family because you are fighting a losing battle, move on because you are better than them anyway, but she's relentless and her and jonathon find Mrs. Driscoll eating fertilizer in her basement and it is disgusting.
Hopper get's his ass kicked at the lab like he's Steve Harrington or something...
El and Max track down a red door and find Billy pretending to be a normal person and not being very good at it
He stares El down because he is also the mindflayer and several other names that we won't find out about until season 4...
Heather thwops her dad, Tom (nancy's boss) upside the head with a wine bottle and it's mildly satisfying except for the fact that she's only doing it because she's been 'flayed' by Billy/the mindflayer... and Nancy didn't even get to see Tom get owned by his own daughter, what a shame