There’s a pressure to “perform” that is deeply ingrained in research culture.

A norm of climbing the ladder, being cutthroat, doing more with less. But I’ve come to see how detached this is from reality.

Very detached.

I grew up in a very average, blue-collar family.

Now, I’m in a different place. I’ve made it, at least on paper.

But here’s what I’ve learned: the things that make me happiest have no financial value.

Going for walks.

Coloring with my kids.

Saying hi to colleagues in the hallway.

And the things that make me miserable?

They’re almost always tied to “performance” and “measurement.”

There’s this constant voice saying, “You must justify your worth.”

But I can’t. I’ve tried.

I can’t say my actions on any given day are “productive.”

Saying “hi” is just not.

And that is not a weakness. That’s the truth of being a researcher.

I’ve experienced a lot of failure. I’ve studied it, too.

And failure has taught me to detach from metrics.

It taught me to say, “Screw you—I’m good enough without proving it to anyone.”

This isn’t about giving up. It’s about living fully.

It’s equally good to take time off. It’s equally good to have tea with someone you love.

The problem isn’t you—it’s the narrow definition of success we’ve been taught to chase.

If you’re struggling in academia, know this: You are not alone.

And you are not weak.

You are doing the right things.