In part 1 of this 2 part series, we discuss boundaries and how to identify, define, communicate and enforce them in interpersonal relationships of all kinds.
While there are countless ways to create a boundaries chart, the core principles remain the same.
But first, what is a boundary? According to IPFW/Parkview Student Assistance Program, “A boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends . . . The purpose of setting a healthy boundary is, of course, to protect and take good care of you” (n.d.). “Our boundaries might be rigid, loose, somewhere in between, or even nonexistent. A complete lack of boundaries may indicate that we don’t have a strong identity or are enmeshed with someone else” (Cleantis, 2017).
How do you set a boundary? According to Joaquín Selva, Bc.S., Psychologist, to set healthy boundaries you must first identify and define the desired boundary and communicate it (say what you need). The most effective boundaries are communicated as simply as possible (don’t over-explain) and have clearly established consequences for violating that boundary. Consequences aren’t meant to be a threat, but instead, communicate to the other person why it is so important.
Boundaries are a vital component of any healthy relationship. Without them, we risk becoming codependent, developing resentment, and losing our sense of identity and autonomy.
Special thanks to Christina of @betterselfbetterworld for providing the inspiration to do this episode. Check out our interview with Christina here. She goes in-depth into the process of creating her boundaries chart in this IGTV video.
Website: https://www.pgpcpod.com/
References
How to Set Healthy Boundaries, Joaquín Selva, Bc.S., Psychologist
Setting Healthy Personal Boundaries (worksheet)
Stuff I Learned In Therapy - Intimacy & Boundaries Chart, @betterselfbetterworld
Pretty Girl Pill Club, Episode 29: It's All Chemicals with Christina of @betterselfbetterworld
Pretty Girl Pill Club, Episode 27: Ask A Trainwreck! with Millennial Mental Health Channel