When you have a history of trauma, abuse, or neglect (intentional or unintentional), love can feel threatening, and like someone who is allergic to fruit or nuts, your body can overreact, in negative ways, to positive attention associated with love, concern, desire, or warm affection. Unhealed trauma can cause us to avoid, delay, and or destroy potentially healthy, nurturing relationships, but small consistent self-care behaviors can lead to an internal sense of safety and healing.