In this episode of Poetry in Layers, I open up about grief through the poem “the moment we knew.”This piece is about my grandmother, the woman who held my family together with cornbread, prayer, and a presence so steady we only understood its weight once she was gone.
I share how food became faith, how prayer shaped structure, and how grief sometimes arrives like a pause after Sunday dinner. Together we explore the roles matriarchs play, the way families reshape when they lose their center, and how love continues to show itself in the ordinary, in recipes, in memories, in the way we live forward.
Through narrative therapy, Internal Family Systems, somatic reflections, and spiritual psychology, I peel back the layers of this poem to reveal how grief reshapes our bodies, our families, and our faith. This episode is an invitation to honor the people who made love feel like structure in your life, and to recognize that their presence is still here, transformed but enduring.
This one is personal. It is about loss, legacy, and the ways love lasts longer than absence.
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Chapters:
00:00 - Introduction
00:22 - Where Grief Simmers
02:19 - The Poem: the moment we knee
05:27 - The Breakdown: the moment we knew
06:42 - The Clinical Breakdown
06:54 - Narrative Therapy
08:01 - Internal Family Systems
09:30 - Somatic Therapy & Polyvagal Theory
11:44 - Spiritual Therapy
12:18 - This Poem Won’t Save You
14:13 - Reflection Questions
15:30 - Second Reading: the moment we knew
18:45 - Closing
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Carl's Publication
The Mis-Execution of a Black Son by Carl Patterson, LPC - https://amzn.to/3UyX6nP
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Book Resources
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Poetry Relater Books:
• The Carrying: Poems by Ada Limon
• Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude by Ross Gay
• The Black Maria by Aracelis Girmay
• Don’t Call Us Dead by Danez Smith
• Good Woman: Poems and a Memoir 1969–1980 by Lucille Clifton
Psychology Related Books
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
• It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine
• Bearing the Unbearable by Joanne Cacciatore
• When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
• Grief Is Love by Marisa Renee Lee
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Carl Patterson is a licensed professional counselor, published author, public speaker, and spoken word artist. Click the link to learn more about Carl and his works - https://www.familysolutionsok.com/carl-patterson
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This podcast is published and produced by Family Solutions Media, a media program of Family Solutions Counseling. For more great content, please check out our LinkTree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok