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Playing With Fire
Joli Hamilton
228 episodes
6 days ago
Welcome to Playing With Fire, the podcast for people who are ready to custom-build their love. We’re talking about non-monogamy–however you design it–as an individuation opportunity. Want to leave the default and make your life spectacularly you? You’re in the right place.
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Relationships
Society & Culture
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All content for Playing With Fire is the property of Joli Hamilton and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Welcome to Playing With Fire, the podcast for people who are ready to custom-build their love. We’re talking about non-monogamy–however you design it–as an individuation opportunity. Want to leave the default and make your life spectacularly you? You’re in the right place.
Show more...
Relationships
Society & Culture
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228 “I Only Get the Hard Parts”: Living with Asymmetry in Polyamory and Life
Playing With Fire
47 minutes 26 seconds
2 weeks ago
228 “I Only Get the Hard Parts”: Living with Asymmetry in Polyamory and Life

Ever feel like your journey into non-monogamy is all about hard work? You're not alone. Many people reach a point where they wonder if all the emotional regulation, self-reflection, and relationship meetings are worth it. This feeling is incredibly common, whether you initiated opening your relationship or not.

We've both been there. The reality is that unpacking our assumptions about relationships takes significant emotional energy, especially when regular life continues demanding our attention. But there’s so much you can do to make peace with these feelings. This episode will help you to re-ground into your reasons for being poly, and find practical tips for re-energizing and recovering from overwhelm.

In this episode, we talk about:

— Why it's normal to feel overwhelmed by the constant self-work required in non-monogamous relationships

— The importance of connecting to your "poly why"—your personal values and reasons for choosing this path

— How entitlement can secretly undermine our experiences when things feel asymmetric or unfair

— Why community support is crucial when navigating difficult emotions (and what to do if you don't have access to community)

— The value of self-expression through writing, art, or other creative outlets when processing challenging feelings

— How to recognize when you're falling into the "martyr" or "hero" archetype in your relationships

— The difference between dating for genuine connection versus dating to "balance the scales" when your partner is having more fun than you

— Why celebrating your milestones and growth—even the seemingly small ones—is essential for sustainability

— The importance of acknowledging that asymmetry is normal in relationships, and "balance" may not be the right goal

— How to reconnect with pride in your journey of unpacking the ownership model of relationships

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— Our PWF episode about finding compatible partners

JOIN The Year Of Opening® community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

Playing With Fire
Welcome to Playing With Fire, the podcast for people who are ready to custom-build their love. We’re talking about non-monogamy–however you design it–as an individuation opportunity. Want to leave the default and make your life spectacularly you? You’re in the right place.