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Playing With Fire
Joli Hamilton
228 episodes
5 days ago
Welcome to Playing With Fire, the podcast for people who are ready to custom-build their love. We’re talking about non-monogamy–however you design it–as an individuation opportunity. Want to leave the default and make your life spectacularly you? You’re in the right place.
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Relationships
Society & Culture
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All content for Playing With Fire is the property of Joli Hamilton and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Welcome to Playing With Fire, the podcast for people who are ready to custom-build their love. We’re talking about non-monogamy–however you design it–as an individuation opportunity. Want to leave the default and make your life spectacularly you? You’re in the right place.
Show more...
Relationships
Society & Culture
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226 The Secret Sauce of Happy Non-Monogamy: Exquisite Transition Management
Playing With Fire
39 minutes 51 seconds
4 weeks ago
226 The Secret Sauce of Happy Non-Monogamy: Exquisite Transition Management

We all experience transitions in our relationships. And, they can actually be even more frequent in non-monogamous relationships, like when our attention shifts from one partner to another, when we leave for a date, or when we return home. These seemingly small shifts in energy and attention can create surprising friction, even in the healthiest dynamics.

A ton of us could use extra support around these issues. In fact, transition management is the topic that results in the most emergency sessions scheduled with Dr. Joli! That's because these moments, when handled poorly, can turn what could be positive experiences into sources of conflict and disconnection. But with some thoughtful planning and self-awareness, transitions can actually become opportunities for deeper intimacy.

In this episode, we talk about:

— What relationship transitions actually are (they're more than just coming and going!)

— Why the "grinding" day-to-day moments can either build you up or wear you down

— The importance of acknowledging your own transition style—are you a "fast shifter" or a "slow shifter"?

— Why it's okay to be "high maintenance" about your transition needs (and why pretending you don't have needs only makes things worse)

— How to create simple but effective transition rituals that don't have to be complicated to work

— Why compromise in transition planning doesn't necessarily mean "splitting the difference"

— The critical difference between reconnection and debriefing (and why mixing them can lead to problems)

— How to handle the "last bit of time" before reunion, which is often the hardest part for the person at home

— The unique challenges of managing transitions in long-distance relationships

— Why the fear of being "too needy" can actually prevent us from creating the transition support we really need

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

Playing With Fire
Welcome to Playing With Fire, the podcast for people who are ready to custom-build their love. We’re talking about non-monogamy–however you design it–as an individuation opportunity. Want to leave the default and make your life spectacularly you? You’re in the right place.