Most of us have been conditioned to follow relationship "escalators," those predetermined paths that dictate how our connections should progress. But what happens when we step off these escalators and design our relationships according to our own values? What if we could move beyond hierarchical thinking and embrace a more expansive view of love and connection?
Enter, relationship anarchy, and Dr. Nicole Thompson, who’s joining us to explore this fascinating path to more intentional, authentic connections across every aspect of our lives. We aren’t just talking romance here–relationship anarchy is about reimagining all your relationships by examining and dismantling their power structures.
In this episode, we talk about:
— What relationship anarchy really means:
— How relationship anarchy connects to political anarchist values of self-governance and community care
— Why relationship anarchy isn't just about romantic or sexual relationships but applies to all connections in our lives
— The difference between "power over" dynamics versus conscious stratification of relationships
— How to recognize when you're using hierarchy as a safety mechanism rather than as an intentional choice
— The challenge of moving away from obligation-based relationships toward mutuality and choice
— Why commitment looks different in relationship anarchy
— The revolutionary feeling of knowing someone chooses to be with you when they have complete freedom not to
— How to begin practicing relationship anarchy by first recognizing all the relationships you already have
— The importance of community in providing multiple sources of love and support
— Why relationship anarchy requires ongoing consciousness about power dynamics in all areas of life
— How to navigate the reality of finite time and energy without defaulting to unconscious hierarchies
Resources mentioned in this episode:
— Modern Anarchy Podcast, hosted by Dr. Nicole Thompson
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Music: Dance of Felt by Blue Dot Sessions