In this episode of Plain View, Elise and Kristine talk about the topic of grief: what it is, how it shows up, and the many forms it can take. They share their own stories of navigating infertility and the grief that comes with longing, uncertainty, and the less visible forms of grief that often go unnamed.
This is a deeply personal conversation about how we grieve the things we’ve lost, the futures we imagined, the identities we once held, and the changes we never saw coming. Through community reflections and small moments of meaning-making, they explore how we might live alongside grief without rushing to move past it.
The episode closes with a short guided practice from Kristine to support you in whatever version of grief you may be carrying.
Timestamps & Key Topics:
00:00 – Introduction & why this is the most personal episode yet
01:00 – Deep breaths before a heavy conversation
02:00 – Rituals for grounding and preparing to talk about grief
03:00 – Why structure didn’t feel right for this topic
04:18 – Community responses: Have you experienced grief? How do you view it?
05:30 – Defining grief beyond death: infertility, identity, dreams, transitions
07:00 – Feeling less alone through the podcast and community
08:48 – Elise shares her fertility story, grief, and healing
13:06 – Societal expectations vs. personal desire
16:46 – Kristine shares what it’s like to be in the uncertainty of infertility
19:39 – Grieving something that’s never existed
21:32 – The pain of comparison and stacked grief
24:15 – Yearning as the heart of grief
27:00 – The financial and emotional toll of fertility treatments
29:27 – Unexpected growth, identity shifts, and finding meaning
33:19 – How to support someone who is grieving
36:19 – What grief feels like: vivid metaphors and physical sensations
41:00 – Elise shares how she and Dan came to the decision not to have children
50:00 – Identity, release, and rebuilding life without a role you once imagined
52:10 – Community reflections: what helps you cope with grief
53:08 – Grief and time: the science of experience and memory
57:47 – Beauty and love in new forms: being a present aunt, friend, and guide
01:09:49 – The quote: “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow”
01:11:00 – Guided grief practice with Kristine
Resources we mentioned in the episode:
“There are years that ask questions and years that answer” – Zora Neale Hurston
Elise’s personal Substack essay It Only Has To Make Sense To You
“To Plant A Garden Is To Believe In Tomorrow” IG post
Connect with Us:
on Instagram @plai.nview
Elise Joseph James – elisejosephjames.com
Kristine Claghorn – claggie.com
You can also find us over on Substack: Elise & Kristine
The Episode 7 cover is a photo by Elise Joseph James.
