What makes us feel like we’re enough? In this episode of Plain View, Elise and Kristine explore how self-worth, or the sense that you are enough just as you are, differs from self-esteem, how external validation can distort our sense of value, and why we often feel like we have to do something to deserve love, success, or rest.
They unpack the societal messages, early experiences, and cultural norms that shaped their own self-worth journeys—from diet culture in the early 2000s to productivity pressure and people-pleasing. Through heartfelt stories, community responses, and science-backed insights, they offer a gentler, more grounded way to relate to yourself.
This episode also includes a guided practice led by Kristine to help you shift self-critical thoughts, reconnect with your values, and remember that your worth is not up for debate.
Timestamps & Key Topics:
00:00 – Intro: How we define self-worth (vs. self-esteem)
01:11 – Community shares: “What do you believe determines your worth?”
02:52 – The distinction: Self-esteem is conditional; self-worth is not
05:16 – Rating your current self-worth + how it fluctuates
06:56 – The pressure to “achieve worthiness” and needing external validation
08:16 – Validation is not weakness—it’s part of how we connect
09:01 – How we tie our worth to productivity, success, and appearance
10:10 – APA research on achievement-based self-worth & burnout
12:04 – What we can learn from nature about worthiness
13:56 – Elise reflects on self-worth after closing her shop
16:04 – Trusting your inner knowing—even when it feels like failure
17:57 – The harm of early 2000s beauty culture & diet messaging
19:14 – Negativity bias, confirmation bias & the need for self-compassion
23:11 – Prompt: “If your self-worth didn’t depend on external validation, how would your life change?”
24:25 – Values as a foundation for stable self-worth
26:22 – Elise & Kristine share their personal core values
28:59 – Using values in everyday life to build worth from within
30:45 – How to shift confirmation bias toward positive evidence
31:47 – What to say to your inner critic & the power of self-kindness
34:14 – Reframing comparison: What do I admire? What does this show me about my values?
35:40 – Guided Practice: Reconnecting with your self-worth
Resources we mentioned in the episode:
Values Deck by Jaimi Brooks
APA Contingencies of Self-Worth Paper
Connect with Us:
on Instagram @plai.nview
Elise Joseph James – elisejosephjames.com
Kristine Claghorn – claggie.com
You can also find us over on Substack: Elise & Kristine
The Episode 3 cover is a photo by Kristine Claghorn.
