We’re joined by Alicia M. Walker and Arielle Kuperberg, authors of Bound by BDSM: Unexpected Lessons for Building a Happier Life. Their groundbreaking book dives into the ways BDSM can teach us about trust, communication, vulnerability, and joy — lessons that extend far beyond the dungeon.
We talk with Alicia and Arielle about what inspired their research, the surprising truths they uncovered, and why mainstream conversations about kink so often miss the bigger picture. You’ll hear how BDSM practices can foster deeper intimacy, improve relationships, and even reshape how we approach everyday life.
If you’ve ever wondered what kink can teach us about being human, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.
Get the book on Amazon at https://a.co/d/fUktGBG
Connect with Alicia at https://www.alicia-walker.com/
Connect with Arielle at https://sites.google.com/site/arielletk/home
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This episode is a deep dive into our personal journeys through the lifestyle. We’re answering 20 journaling prompts that explore how kink has shaped us, challenged us, and helped us grow.
From scenes that changed the way we play to beliefs we had to unlearn, we’re reflecting on what it really means to become yourself through kink. Some lessons came through trial and error. Others through joy, community, and pushing our edges.
If you're curious about what experience actually looks like over time, this one is honest, raw, and full of insight.
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Kink isn’t just about play — it’s stress relief, identity, and connection. But what happens when life throws up walls and you can’t engage the way you want? In this episode, we talk about the realities of dry spells, why they happen, and the emotional toll they can take. We’ll bust the myths that make people feel “less kinky” when they can’t play, and share creative coping strategies to keep your dynamic alive during times of stress, illness, family obligations, money struggles, or burnout. Because kink isn’t a tally of scenes — it’s who you are.
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From tickling in Florida to vore in California and cuckolding in Texas, this episode takes you on a kinky road trip through the most-searched fetishes in every U.S. state. Based on recent studies by FetishFinder and Clips4Sale, we break down what each fetish is, where it’s most popular, and what regional patterns might reveal about our private desires.
Some results are expected, some are hilarious, and a few are just… huh.
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Are you just going through the motions in your kink life? Feeling disconnected, uninspired, or like you've hit a plateau? This episode is your wake-up call.
From navigating intense scenes to watching others step into their fears for the first time, this episode explores why self-challenge is essential in kink and how it can reignite your passion, deepen your dynamic, and reconnect you to the parts of yourself that crave more.
We’re not talking about going to extremes or proving anything to anyone else. This is about choosing brave, intentional growth—and what happens when you do.
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Have you ever felt like someone only wanted you for your kink? Like you didn’t matter—just what you could do for them? In this episode, we’re talking about what it means to be treated like a kink dispenser. We’ll look at how it happens, what it feels like, and what to do if you’re on either side of the issue. You’ll get tips, scripting, and real talk on how to set better boundaries and build stronger, more connected kink relationships.
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Poly Littles can mean twice the fun, twice the Caregivers, and sometimes twice the crayons on the floor. In this episode, we explore the unique joys and challenges of polyamorous dynamics that include Littles—whether that means multiple Caregivers, multiple Littles, or both. We’ll talk about balancing different caregiving styles, keeping rules and routines clear, and making sure every relationship feels valued. Expect stories about shared playdates, overlapping snack times, and the occasional tug-of-war over stuffies. We’ll also share strategies for communication, avoiding favoritism, and creating a safe, happy space for everyone involved. This is poly life with a side of coloring books and cuddles.
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Can a submissive say no to their Dominant and still be in service? Absolutely. In this episode, we’re challenging the outdated idea that submission means saying yes to everything. Instead, we explore how setting boundaries, speaking up, and honoring your own needs are essential parts of a healthy D/s dynamic.
Saying no isn’t disobedience—it’s a powerful act of self-awareness that builds trust, reinforces consent, and protects both partners from burnout and resentment. You’ll learn why submission isn’t about automatic obedience, but about making intentional, informed choices in service of the relationship.
We’ll also share examples and phrases you can use to say no with respect and clarity, along with reminders that you’re allowed to take care of yourself and be a devoted submissive.
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Consent is the foundation of kink—but it’s not the finish line. In this episode, we dig into why “they said yes” shouldn’t shut down deeper conversations about safety, risk, and responsibility. What happens when a scene is so dangerous it could affect more than just the people involved? And who, if anyone, gets to decide what’s too much? Let’s talk about consent, community standards, and the cost of turning recklessness into a punchline.
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Being a Top isn’t just about giving orders or holding the crop—it’s about holding responsibility. In this episode, we’re digging into what it really means to lead with care in kink. From medical safety and emotional well-being to ethical decision-making and community accountability, we’re calling in all Dominants, Tops, and handlers to step up and do better.
We’ll break down why “they consented” isn’t always enough, why jokes about dangerous play can harm more than reputations, and how to actually earn the trust your role demands. This one’s packed with reflection questions, real talk, and actionable tips for showing up as the kind of Top your bottom deserves.
Because power isn’t the reward. Responsibility is the requirement.
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Feeling drained by your kink life? In this episode, we talk about what burnout looks like in the BDSM lifestyle, how to spot the signs, ways to prevent it, and how to come back from it. If kink is starting to feel like a chore, this one’s for you.
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What happens when abuse is disguised as kink? In this episode, we unpack the disturbing trend of powerful people—like Diddy and Marilyn Manson—using BDSM as a cover for coercion and control. We break down why that’s not kink, how it harms the community, and what ethical BDSM actually looks like. Spoiler: consent isn’t optional.
National Sexual Assault Hotline - 800-656-HOPE
Kink Aware Professionals - https://www.kapprofessionals.org/
Red Flag Radar Workbook at PinkKinkBoutique on Etsy
https://fetlife.com/groups/149395/posts/11127573
When do you tell someone you’re kinky? On the first date? After sex? Six months in?
In this episode, we break down the pros and cons of revealing your kink at different stages of dating, how to know when you’re ready, and tips for having that conversation with confidence. There’s no one right answer—but we’ll help you find yours.
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Who says you need a Caregiver to enjoy Littlespace? In this episode, we’re busting the myth that Littles need a Daddy, Mommy, or CG to feel valid. We explore the beauty of peer-based Littlespaces—where Littles support each other through creativity, connection, and care, without formal power exchange. From craft nights and snack rotations to setting healthy boundaries and avoiding burnout, this episode is packed with ideas, emotional insights, and real talk for Littles looking to build their own village.
Because Littlespace isn’t about who’s in charge. It’s about who makes you feel safe, seen, and silly.
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What makes a kink “extreme”? And why does that word cause so much harm?
In this episode, we’re breaking down the myth that certain kinks are more real, more intense, or more valid than others. Whether your play leaves bruises or just leaves you breathless, your kink counts. We’ll explore the hidden hierarchies in the kink world, why emotional intensity matters just as much as physical, and how to stop comparing your edge to someone else’s.
Because in kink, there’s no ladder to climb. You’re valid—at every level.
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Inspired by a post on FetLife and real conversations with kinksters, this episode explores why both Dominants and submissives need clear, affirming rights in BDSM. We walk through the Submissive’s Bill of Rights and the Dominant’s Bill of Rights—not as rules, but as tools to support autonomy, respect, and consent in power exchange.
Because no matter your role, your needs, boundaries, and voice matter.
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CG/L dynamics are deeply personal and emotionally rich. They can offer comfort, structure, play, and healing—but only when built on a foundation of consent, communication, and respect. From bottle feeding to bedtime routines, from emotional support to power exchange, caregiving in kink is never one-size-fits-all. And it definitely isn’t just about being sweet and cuddly. In this episode, we’re digging into what healthy CG/L dynamics really look like, how to avoid common caregiving mistakes, and why consent, boundaries, and mutual respect matter more than cute rules and nap times.
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Get ready to crack into the world of Spankos! In this episode, we’re joined by the legendary Miss Chris—Professional Disciplinarian, BDSM educator, and all-around badass—to take us deep into the Spanko community. We talk about what defines a Spanko, the unique appeal of spanking as a kink, and how this corner of the kink world builds trust, connection, and sometimes very sore bottoms.
Miss Chris shares her journey, her insights on the psychology of spanking, and some of the common misconceptions about Spankos. Whether you're curious, confused, or already clutching your favorite paddle, this episode is packed with wisdom, wit, and plenty of cheeky fun.
For more information about Miss Chris and the Spanko Community check out https://www.missschris.com/
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Who comes first in a D/s dynamic? The Dominant? The submissive? Their needs? Their wants? In this episode, we’re digging into the D/s Hierarchy of Needs—a framework that helps make sense of how to prioritize care, safety, and power in a consensual exchange.
We’ll explore what qualifies as a need versus a want, how to tell the difference, and why getting this balance right is essential for a healthy and thriving dynamic. Expect real-life examples, a dash of humor, and a few spicy truths kinksters don’t always want to hear.
Want to know who really comes first? You’ll have to listen to find out.
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We’re sharing our strong (and spicy) opinions on the all-too-common idea that Dominants should “break” their submissives. Hint: we’re not fans. We’ll dive into where this harmful mindset comes from, why it shows up in kink spaces, and the real damage it can cause. Plus, we’ll talk about what ethical, empowered D/s actually looks like—because submission isn’t something to destroy, reshape, or control.
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