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Performance Time
Stephen Townshend
28 episodes
6 months ago
A show about performance testing and engineering (and human beings).

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Technology
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All content for Performance Time is the property of Stephen Townshend and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
A show about performance testing and engineering (and human beings).

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
Technology
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Performance Time Episode 15: Say It Ain't Slow
Performance Time
5 minutes 26 seconds
2 years ago
Performance Time Episode 15: Say It Ain't Slow

Third party trackers

Are crowding my website

Analytics requests

Are bringing me down

Guess I’ll just close my tab

Oh yeah

Alright

Feels bad

Inside

Four hundred requests

For just one web page

My mobile netwo-oo-er-oo-erk

Is struggling to cope

I’ll guess I’ll call instead

Say it ain’t slow

Your site is unbearable

Say it ain’t slow

My business is going elsewhere

I can’t connect to

Anything you do

All of your websites

Are timing out

When I try

To pay for the product that you had up on

Your website just the other day

It’s not cool

Say it ain’t slow

Your site is unbearable

Say it ain’t slow

My business is going elsewhere

Dear website

I try you, in spite of years of slowness

You’ve cleaned up, got faster, (even) using a CDN now

This gigan-tic image, awakens ancient feelings

Frustration, desperation, all of your customers are goooooonneee…

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Say it ain’t slow

Your site is unbearable

Say it ain’t slow

My business is going elsewhere


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Performance Time
A show about performance testing and engineering (and human beings).

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.