Peaches went fully off the rails in this one—starting with an AI diss track fueled by pure hatred, courtesy of Suno and some questionable moral choices, before diving straight into the unholy union of Butterball turkey pants and Gwen Stefani’s “Sweet Escape” (a song that apparently causes him physical pain). Somewhere between a rant about Thanksgiving being the most overrated holiday on the planet and plotting a road trip to Salt Lake City for Set It Off and Vanna, Peaches also teaches us that people are now making “moon water” by leaving bottles outside overnight like lunatics collecting Pokémon energy. Then, nostalgia hits hard as he mourns the death of malls from Pocatello to Westminster and wonders why every new construction project has to be overpriced apartments. Wrestling gets roasted, fashion gets bullied (ties are stupid, confirmed), and Peaches declares an all-out war on people who text “call me when you can.” The episode wraps up with a squirrel named Chunkasaurus Rex winning Fat Squirrel Week, a drunk Arizona judge going number one in public, and Tyra Banks inventing what’s literally just warm melted ice cream and calling it a “Hot Mama.” Somewhere in there, he also reviews body wash like a sommelier. It’s a wild buffet of nonsense, nostalgia, and judgment—and somehow, it’s exactly what you needed today.

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