Peaches returns with a Monday show that feels like it was recorded in an alternate timeline where eggnog is pre-workout and Thanksgiving is a government conspiracy. The episode begins with him proudly admitting he drank a quart of Reed’s Dairy eggnog for breakfast—followed immediately by learning about the Noggathon, a local East Idaho event where participants must chug 32 ounces of the same eggnog before each lap of a one-mile run. He briefly considers entering, then remembers he’s going to Salt Lake for Set It Off and Trader Joe’s, because nothing screams self-care like kombucha and live pop-punk.
What follows is an escalating series of rants that span from trunk-or-treats ruining Halloween to turkey hotlines ruining November. Peaches unloads on Butterball for thinking anyone cares about how to “brine and inject” a bird that “never even tastes that good.” Then, he dives headfirst into the online war over parents dragging kids to ten trunk-or-treat events before Halloween night—creating ghost towns across Idaho. Somewhere in the middle of that argument, he casually describes people using “the family puke bowl” for candy. Normal radio things.
He then breaks down his pumpkin-carving disaster, explains why touching pumpkin guts should be considered combat pay, and pitches an invention called Pop-A-Tree—a Christmas tree that just pops open like an umbrella so you never have to wrap another strand of lights. From there, the show swerves into Peaches’ fantasy football dominance, where Team Peaches Pals is allegedly 7-1, though he’s convinced the trophy will probably sit in the conference room collecting dust after this year’s league implodes.
Somehow, that segues into him dissecting AC/DC’s newly announced tour, mocking the internet for believing they were coming to Salt Lake City, congratulating Taylor Momsen on performing in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, and roasting “One Million Moms” for being mad that Wheel of Fortune used the puzzle phrase “What the… Fun.” The last half of the show is pure Peaches meltdown: he reviews a gym in China that’s offering a Porsche to whoever loses 100 pounds in three months, questions how bidets actually dry you (“do you just towel off the poo water?”), laughs about a Seattle man burning a Bob Ross skeleton, and ends with a passionate defense of why baseball is king, soccer is dumb, and the Dodgers winning the World Series is personal validation for his entire existence.
If your brain survived all of that, you’ve officially earned your honorary gallon of Reed’s Dairy eggnog.
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