Somewhere between Halloween Eve and seasonal sinus failure, Peaches embarks on a descent into nasal purgatory armed with a CPAP machine, a clogged nose, and absolutely no shame. What begins as a casual allergy rant morphs into a full-blown philosophical crisis about Los Angeles being crowned the new “rattiest city in America.” From there, the episode spirals faster than a diseased monkey falling off a Spirit Halloween shelf.
Peaches coughs, sneezes, and chokes his way through the show while contemplating Megadeth’s final album and roasting Dave Mustaine for writing what he swears could’ve been auto-generated by ChatGPT. In between gasps for air, he tackles the sacred debate of whether 13-year-olds should be banned from trick-or-treating, defends tall kids everywhere (“just because I’m 6’9” at eight doesn’t mean I pay taxes yet”), and plans to post a “don’t be that person” PSA to the Life in Idaho Falls group.
A listener then calls in to discuss the traumatic reality of sneezing inside a CPAP mask, leading to a discussion about waking up covered in your own dried drool flakes — lovingly compared to “a dollar-bill tornado of shame.” Somewhere in there, a diaper-clad monkey escapes inside a Spirit Halloween store, a Florida woman sues SeaWorld because a duck physically assaulted her on a roller coaster, and Peaches tries to figure out why a truck full of diseased monkeys flipped over in Mississippi like it’s the opening scene of Outbreak 2: Monkey Business.
By the end, Peaches admits the adult version of Halloween is just carving pumpkins you don’t want, watching kids you don’t know, and pretending you didn’t almost cut your finger off because the knife “looked dull.” There’s sports talk, Halloween safety stats, and a Dodger Stadium rant about paying $3,000 to watch your favorite team lose. It’s part radio show, part fever dream, part diseased-monkey manifesto.
Listen responsibly — or don’t. Peaches doesn’t care, he’s still trying to sneeze through his mask.
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