~118 "How to Co‑Parent with an Abusive Ex: What Every Parent of a Teen Needs to Know" With Sybil Cummins

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Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World

Cheryl Pankhurst

129 episodes

2 days ago

#SelfAdvocacy, #Advocacy, #PersonalBoundaries, #TruthTelling

Key Takeaways

Advocacy ≠ Aggression – It’s about clear, honest communication that protects your own well‑being.
The “Peace‑Keeper” Trap – Most parents default to “keeping the peace” for everyone else, forgetting they have the same right to be heard.
Spot the Gap – Social media shows the end result, not the messy process. Recognize that the journey (including the storm) is where real growth happens.
Your Body Gives You the Answer – When you set a boundary and feel calm rather than guilty, your nervous system is confirming you did the right thing.
Low‑Volume Courage – You don’t need to raise your voice; a single, firm sentence can be enough:
- “I won’t participate in this dynamic anymore.”
- “That’s not respectful to me.”
- “I need this to change.”
Modeling for Teens – Kids learn boundary‑setting by watching you. When you stand up for yourself, you teach them to do the same.
“Storm‑Love” Exercise – Close eyes, hand on heart, say: “I love this storm. I love this arc. I love it all.” Use this to stay present and turn turbulence into growth.
The Calm Compass – If after a conversation you feel quiet confidence, not shame, you’ve aligned with your true self.
Community Call‑to‑Action
1️⃣ Share this episode with a parent who needs a confidence boost.
2️⃣ Post your own boundary‑setting moment on Instagram or TikTok using #WTFParenting and tag @CherylPankhurst.
3️⃣ Leave a Voice‑Mail or comment with your story—Cheryl will reply personally and may feature it in a future episode.

Connect with Cheryl!

The Cleansing Within Program

https://www.practicewithpresence.com/cleansing-within/?sa=sa0019992619598254bda4daae3980777062778b19

The Good Divorce Show Episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/2hIILoayZV2oQu5zEzJdcP?si=wl8O0S9YSCCwkUSJQAYcrQ

Let’s Chat

Parenting

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#SelfAdvocacy, #Advocacy, #PersonalBoundaries, #TruthTelling

Key Takeaways

Advocacy ≠ Aggression – It’s about clear, honest communication that protects your own well‑being.
The “Peace‑Keeper” Trap – Most parents default to “keeping the peace” for everyone else, forgetting they have the same right to be heard.
Spot the Gap – Social media shows the end result, not the messy process. Recognize that the journey (including the storm) is where real growth happens.
Your Body Gives You the Answer – When you set a boundary and feel calm rather than guilty, your nervous system is confirming you did the right thing.
Low‑Volume Courage – You don’t need to raise your voice; a single, firm sentence can be enough:
- “I won’t participate in this dynamic anymore.”
- “That’s not respectful to me.”
- “I need this to change.”
Modeling for Teens – Kids learn boundary‑setting by watching you. When you stand up for yourself, you teach them to do the same.
“Storm‑Love” Exercise – Close eyes, hand on heart, say: “I love this storm. I love this arc. I love it all.” Use this to stay present and turn turbulence into growth.
The Calm Compass – If after a conversation you feel quiet confidence, not shame, you’ve aligned with your true self.
Community Call‑to‑Action
1️⃣ Share this episode with a parent who needs a confidence boost.
2️⃣ Post your own boundary‑setting moment on Instagram or TikTok using #WTFParenting and tag @CherylPankhurst.
3️⃣ Leave a Voice‑Mail or comment with your story—Cheryl will reply personally and may feature it in a future episode.

Connect with Cheryl!

The Cleansing Within Program

https://www.practicewithpresence.com/cleansing-within/?sa=sa0019992619598254bda4daae3980777062778b19

The Good Divorce Show Episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/2hIILoayZV2oQu5zEzJdcP?si=wl8O0S9YSCCwkUSJQAYcrQ

Let’s Chat

Parenting

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~118 "How to Co‑Parent with an Abusive Ex: What Every Parent of a Teen Needs to Know" With Sybil Cummins

Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World

55 minutes

2 months ago

~118 "How to Co‑Parent with an Abusive Ex: What Every Parent of a Teen Needs to Know" With Sybil Cummins

Sybil is a Licensed Professional Counselor who has specialized in working with victims and survivors of coercive control and domestic violence for the last decade, including the child victims in these families. She owns a small group therapy practice in Colorado and after witnessing the constant ethical issues survivors experience in the family court system trying to protect their children she created Rising Beyond Power and Control (often referred to as The Rising Beyond Community) to help close the gaps in support for this population. Sybil hosts The Rising Beyond Podcast and is active in legislative changes in Colorado for family court reform.

Important Links for Sybil

www.risingbeyondpc.com, instagram.com/risingbeyondpc https://www.linkedin.com/in/sybil-cummin-lpc-acs-50537791/

Key Takeaways

Moral injury is a profound “soul wound” that occurs when you’re forced to act against your core values (e.g., sending a child to an unsafe home).
Labeling the abuse (coercive control, gaslighting, narcissistic abuse) gives you the knowledge needed to break the cycle.
Safety planning must be holistic: physical (go‑bag), financial (budget, separate accounts), emotional (therapy, peer support).
Document everything—screenshots, timestamps, PDFs, and keep a separate, court‑ready journal. Present facts, not diagnoses.
Teens need felt safety: consistent, non‑judgmental spaces where they can ask questions on their timeline.
Regulate the nervous system with micro‑movement, breath, or music; freeze = pause → small, doable action.
Community matters: Isolation fuels control; a survivor network speeds recovery and provides practical legal/parenting hacks.
Connect with Cheryl!

The Good Divorce Show Episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/2hIILoayZV2oQu5zEzJdcP?si=wl8O0S9YSCCwkUSJQAYcrQ

Let’s Chat https://tidycal.com/cherylpankhurst/consultation-chat

Back to Episodes

Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World

#SelfAdvocacy, #Advocacy, #PersonalBoundaries, #TruthTelling

Key Takeaways

Advocacy ≠ Aggression – It’s about clear, honest communication that protects your own well‑being.
The “Peace‑Keeper” Trap – Most parents default to “keeping the peace” for everyone else, forgetting they have the same right to be heard.
Spot the Gap – Social media shows the end result, not the messy process. Recognize that the journey (including the storm) is where real growth happens.
Your Body Gives You the Answer – When you set a boundary and feel calm rather than guilty, your nervous system is confirming you did the right thing.
Low‑Volume Courage – You don’t need to raise your voice; a single, firm sentence can be enough:
- “I won’t participate in this dynamic anymore.”
- “That’s not respectful to me.”
- “I need this to change.”
Modeling for Teens – Kids learn boundary‑setting by watching you. When you stand up for yourself, you teach them to do the same.
“Storm‑Love” Exercise – Close eyes, hand on heart, say: “I love this storm. I love this arc. I love it all.” Use this to stay present and turn turbulence into growth.
The Calm Compass – If after a conversation you feel quiet confidence, not shame, you’ve aligned with your true self.
Community Call‑to‑Action
1️⃣ Share this episode with a parent who needs a confidence boost.
2️⃣ Post your own boundary‑setting moment on Instagram or TikTok using #WTFParenting and tag @CherylPankhurst.
3️⃣ Leave a Voice‑Mail or comment with your story—Cheryl will reply personally and may feature it in a future episode.

Connect with Cheryl!

The Cleansing Within Program

https://www.practicewithpresence.com/cleansing-within/?sa=sa0019992619598254bda4daae3980777062778b19

The Good Divorce Show Episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/2hIILoayZV2oQu5zEzJdcP?si=wl8O0S9YSCCwkUSJQAYcrQ

Let’s Chat