Starting discussions about sexuality and relationships early can help make these conversations easier as your child ages. Discover how to foster open and honest communications with your child throughout their life.
TEACHING HEALTHY SEXUALITY, BOUNDARIES, AND SAFETY TO CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS
In today’s digital age, children are exposed to sexualized content more than ever before. For parents, especially those raising children with special needs, teaching healthy sexuality, boundaries, and safety is more crucial than ever.
Parenting Special Needs Magazine spoke with Dr. Susan Kaufman, an obstetrician gynecologist specializing in pediatric and adolescent gynecology, and Dr. Amiee Morrison, a pediatric and adolescent gynecologist, to discuss how parents can navigate these challenges, initiate age appropriate conversations, and empower their children to make safe, informed choices in our increasingly sexualized culture.
Don’t worry if you don’t feel like reading; you can enjoy the podcast by listening below on YouTube.
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Two Real-Life Scenarios Why Early Education Is Crucial
Real-life scenarios such as the ones we share here occur all the time. Parents often do not realize when they should have the talk about private parts and sexuality with their children, and these scenarios highlight the importance of early conversation
1. Understanding Boundaries
A young boy (7 years old) with autism attends a public school in an autism setting program and then goes to an aftercare program. He made an inappropriate comment about “tickling her gorilla,” and proceeded to tickle her private area above her pants in a public area with staff all around. This resulted in his suspension from the school. His mother stated that he still takes baths with his younger sister, and she never realized she should discuss private parts.
2. Navigating Social Interactions
At a school, a neurodiverse young lady started flirting with one of the older neurotypical student volunteers, making him uncomfortable.
Her behaviors included shaking her hair, rubbing shoulders, flirting, and touching. He reported it and her parents were contacted.
These situations address the need for discussions about sexuality and sexual safety from a young age, and what parents need to know in terms of teaching and guidance.
How and When to Start Human Sexuality Discussions
Dr. Kaufman and Dr. Morrison shared the early discussions about human sexuality should start around 2, 3, and 4 years of age for all children, both with and without special needs.
Our culture has problems with talking about sexuality and parents don’t receive education or manuals on how to talk about this with their children.
The best place to start is by defining what a private part is, not in a sexualized way, but explaining the differences between girls and boys. Topics to address in these early conversations include:
Who is allowed to touch or see these private parts
Where and when it is appropriate for these areas to be touched
What to do if someone touches these areas in a way that feels inappropriate
It is also crucial to use anatomic terms so that adults and doctors know what they refer to. Once that’s been established, a parent can ask them questions such as:
What would you do if a stranger tried to touch that area?
Would you stay or would you go?
Would you keep it a secret or would you tell somebody?
When discussing private parts, it is also essential to include the mouth.
