
The Grand Illusion refers to the fact that while we each experience our ‘reality’ as being a separate individual, in truth we are all included as part of the greater unified universe. So in essence our existence in the world is to overcome the Grand Illusion that we are separate and alone. This means that the work of therapy is not so much to change the finite limits of behavior, thinking, or emotions, but rather to expand a person’s ‘infinite’ perspective of being part of something greater than themselves. It is therefore through the process of therapy that we hope to change and remove or undo a person’s sense of isolation and aloneness.
In the video mom complains that her son manipulates her to stay home from work. My response is to praise the son for his ‘manipulation skills’. At no point do I tell him to stop. However in the next visit the son informs me that he decided to stop. The video demonstrates the power of joining and strengthening the therapeutic alliance as a way to influence a person toward gaining a more infinite perspective.