Hoplitosaurus, the Hoplite Lizard

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Paleo Bites

Matthew Donald

320 episodes

12 hours ago

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and dexterity. So join Matthew and his friends as we embark on this prehistoric odyssey and review the dinosaurs from Aardonyx to Zuul as well as many other extinct beasts, entertaining folks while undoubtedly making serious paleontologists weep. Musical sting by Magnus Ringblom from Epidemic Sound.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Comedy

Science,

Natural Sciences

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Hoplitosaurus, the Hoplite Lizard

Paleo Bites

15 minutes 16 seconds

3 months ago

Hoplitosaurus, the Hoplite Lizard

(original image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/sauropelta_5c34.jpg)

Happy 300 episodes! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Leonychus the Hoplitosaurus, King of the Lakota Formation, discuss (by performing an overly dramatic farcical audiodrama) Hoplitosaurus, a heavily defended creature that fought the encroaching Acrocanthosaurus armies... except that dinosaur was from a different formation and there's no evidence these two species met. But that's why they're encroaching in this fictitious narrative! Madness? This… is… the LAKOTA FORMATION! From the Early Cretaceous, this 10-foot polacanthid nodosaur lived in dense forests with giant pterosaurs likely flying overhead, meaning it would fight in the shade… okay, that’s enough of those references. Except no, there’s never enough. Not when you reach 300 episodes for some godforsaken reason. If you thought you’d get a good episode of this show, you’re in for a wild night. Tonight you dine in HELL!

Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.

TRACK LIST:

• 'The Army of Minotaur' by @Makai-symphony ...

• [Non Copyrighted Music] @MiguelJohnson - G...

• 💣 Copyright Free Military Music - "Legionn...

• 🐫 Persian & Desert (Royalty Free Music) - ...

• 🙁 Sad & Orchestral (Free Music) - "FOR THE...

• ⭐ Triumph (Royalty Free Music) - "KNIGHT O...

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.