Okay, so here’s the scene: I’m out with my cousin—she just turned thirty, and she’s going through it a bit. Feeling insecure, no relationship prospects on the horizon, and apparently spiraling. I didn’t even plan this little outing, by the way—my mom lowkey assigned me to take her out.

So we’re out, I’m trying to make the best of it, and I think we’re having real girl talk. Like, I open up about this crush I have—he’s cute, funny, and I’m brainstorming how to get him to ask for my number. It’s light, flirty, fun. Or so I thought.

Then she hits me with her idea: “You should ask your crush if he has a friend... for me.” Like... what? So basically, her plan is I do the talking, she gets a man, and I might get his number through the side door. It felt more like a setup than a strategy.

And here’s the kicker—throughout the night, she kept trying to steer the convo into this whole “we’re getting older” vibe. But here’s the thing: she’s thirty. I’m not. And honestly? I’m not scared of growing older. That’s not a fear I carry. I like who I’m becoming.

It didn’t feel like she was trying to connect—it felt like she was projecting. Like she needed me to feel what she’s feeling so she wouldn’t feel alone in it. I wasn’t offended—I just saw it clearly. I didn’t take her out to be dragged into her insecurities. I did it because my mom asked me to.

But what I walked away with was this: Just because someone’s family doesn’t mean they get to hand you their baggage. You can be kind. You can show up. But you don’t have to carry what’s not yours