Today, Dan & Stephanie try to cover a difficult topic using stories that can happen with neurodiverse couples and weaving in the story of Elizabeth Holmes/ Theranos after seeing the documentary on HBO Max about remembering differently, different priorities, and lying to oneself.
Often, the couple remembers something differently (more often than not) and gets stuck in the weeds on whether a fact is true or not true instead of solving the actual problem or coming up with a future solution from hindsight learning. Many of our couples get stuck in what is sin, what is a lie, when is this a character flaw or issue?
Stephanie began the discussion by setting up some Gottman research that states 69% of couples' issues are perpetual and unsolvable, so what do you do?
In neurodiverse couples, you can guarantee that you will remember situations and events differently.
You can count on the two of you to have different perspectives and priorities- what do you do?
Looking at the definition of a lie:
General Definition:
A lie is generally defined as a false statement made with the intent to deceive someone.
It involves making a statement that the speaker knows to be untrue, to cause the listener to believe it is true.
Lies involve the intention to deceive or omit something so as not to have a penalty or consequence.
What to do?
After listening to the documentary The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley, Dan and Stephanie arrive at different places where they believe Elizabeth Holmes (no relation) is lying with intent. Is she lying to herself? Stuck in dreams or expectations that will never be? Lying to others? What do you think?
What do you do when you remember differently and need to solve a problem, or you have differences and wants and needs and priorities?
Dan and Stephanie also talk about the perspective gap and learning from it, and how to stay relational when you disagree.
An older podcast called Stuck in the Weeds is mentioned- you can find that here:
https://www.spreaker.com/episode/stuck-in-the-weeds-communication-collaboration-misfires--64597917 Find the entire catalog here:
https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/neurodiverse-christian-couples--4992356or from our home page
www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com Find out what courses are available at
www.holmesasr.com
