Sometimes entering means discovering your new reality includes a flea-infested carpet and no closet when you expected a furnished room.
On this episode of Neither Here Nor There, host Ruthie Gomez talks with co-host Laura and guest Audrey Wells, the Executive Pastor at ICB Barcelona about the entering stage of the transition cycle, when expectations collide with reality in ways both pleasant and jarring. They explore how the entering stage involves constantly adjusting expectations as you settle into new circumstances, using disappointment as a warning light to identify unmet expectations that need realigning. Ruthie shares her graduate school experience of arriving at an empty apartment and learning to trust God's provision through practical needs and friendships.
They discuss the vulnerability that characterizes this stage, noting how people can feel like they're observing from the outside while needing to take active steps toward finding community and support. The conversation addresses the emotional complexities of entering, including ambivalent feelings, exaggerated emotions, and the surprising appearance of depression during what should be an exciting phase. They emphasize that depression often hits during entering because the reality of loss becomes tangible rather than anticipated, and explore how personality affects the entering process through different approaches to building new community connections.
"I believe it affects it a lot. And obviously those who maybe are more shy or have a hard time making friends, it can be hard," Audrey reflects. "I'm an introvert and I've actually found that in my adulthood, being an introvert has actually helped me a lot in transition."
The conversation includes a practical tool called "Unpacking Your Heart Pack," which helps individuals and families process the emotional aspects of transition by sorting experiences into categories of trash, treasure, refill, and repack. Ruthie and Laura emphasize the importance of taking time to identify both the valuable experiences worth carrying forward and the negative experiences that should be released rather than carried into new seasons.