Shannon Thomas, author, proposes six distinct stages for survivors of covert psychological narcissistic abuse. Here, I unpack those stages and suggest Mindful ways to cope with a long and bumpy recovery.

If we try to answer this question through the lens of Buddhist psychology, we could distil the answer down to one word: resistance.

The Buddhist approach is very simple.....catching ourselves the moment we are ‘hooked’. The moment the righteous indignation at wrongful blame, or the anger at criticism, or the humiliation of unkind gossip arises in our being. Catching the need to retaliate with reactive abuse.

Many victims are unconsciously drawn again and again to reconstruct the circumstances in which the original trauma occurred. It is as if the victim tries to re-write the story of their past so that it didn’t happen the way they remember it (as having a devastating and debilitating outcome).

On the whole, narcopaths prey on the kindest, most loyal and generous people. They prey on innocents! You are not to blame!

Why does this site and every other Narcissistic Abuse support site recommend NO CONTACT? Because he gets a buzz out of inflicting pain on YOU.

Understanding how our own values and empathy led us into the snare of the manipulative narcopath

Tips from women who have survived the devastating impact of relationships with pathologically disordered narcissists.

Your limbic system kicks in, floods your body with fear hormones and adrenalin and you can shift between wanting to fight, freeze or run for your life, but you just can't regain your normal composure from that moment forth. Your body won't let you. It's in your body.

Here is a vocabulary of covert manipulation tactics to describe what happened to you.

Break ups are hard. Every end is a kind of death. The sudden abandonment by a narcissistic sociopath (narcopath) is different from other break ups you have had before, because the foundations on which your life with him was built was a scam.

DISTRACTION techniques to be applied alongside a mindful approach to healing from narcissistic abuse - a deep moral injury.

A description of the syndrome of psychological abuse

Narcissistic abuse is characterised by the cycle of Idealise, Devalue, Discard and possibly, Destroy

Most victim-survivors describe an overall relationship pattern that resembles this: Idealise, Devalue, Discard, and possibly Destroy.

Narcissists and sociopaths have these dark personality traits