Jim Cogan is a published author, a yoga instructor and the CEO/Owner of James Cogan Wellness. Jim’s new book, Dude Get a Clue was born out of his realizations and experiences as a white male in America and one of the structural problems in society: white male privilege. He believes men have lost their compass and this loss of direction has created what he calls a “decency deficit.” No preaching here. Dude is definitely not a self-help book, and Jim is not demonizing men, but rather offering insight on how to restore decency back into our national dialog. Decency between genders, races, parties,etc.
In his experience, when faced with fear or anxiety, men resort to isolationism, man caves, pandemic notwithstanding. There is value to solitude, but when it becomes a cave where you are removing yourself from the dialog – from loved ones, society – no good can come from that. Men don’t know they need to offer help and ask for help. They tend to mistake empathy and kindness with weakness. At Mindfulness at Work and Cara Pollard Coaching, we have found the men we work with might present as tough and angry but they can be very kind and caring. They just have to be shown how to tap into that side and may need help in designing a plan to do so.
Jim wants men to understand that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. He encourages men to be curious about the great world around us. Get out of the man cave! As he says in the book “if Tony Soprano can ask for help any guy can.“
Our discussion touches upon ego – moving from ego to essence. So many people (not just men) reside in their ego. We must work at understanding the concept of our own essence; we don’t just one day wake up in our essence. Jim opens up about his own experience with therapy and how it helped him realize his true self and how he learned self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. “For me, self-forgiveness was Step 1”, Jim explains. He encourages practicing self-forgiveness as opposed to chronically beating yourself up. Laugh at yourself as you would with a dear friend. Be a dear friend to yourself.
As a yogi with a master’s in health, Jim also shares his thoughts on the physical and mental health benefits of yoga and meditation. Practicing yoga brings you more in touch with you – not just your body – your essence, your breath. When you practice just being you, you become more accepting of yourself. Studies of brain wave patterns have proven that meditation brings you away from lower brain (rage, lust, fear) and into higher brain functions such as compassion. When you practice yoga, you are more aware of energy, yours and that of others. In Jim’s journey he realized the human condition and how much of our energy is comprised of fear, noting how fearful many are of yoga. “It’s amazing to me: a culture that is so passive, not harmful, not aggressive in any way, can actually feel like an intimidating world to enter.”
You can be a dude who doesn’t have a clue and live a life that may not be as joyous or thriving, but you can get a clue. In Dude Get a Clue, Jim suggests many ways to live a more purposeful life.
Dude Get a Clue is scheduled to be published in May 2021. Visit dudegetaclue.com or jamescoganwellness.com or follow James Cogan Wellness on Facebook or Instagram.
