Nicole Telfer from EmpoweredKidsTV uses her media education platform to empower parents to reduce conflict, heal, and connect in their homes. Nicole started Empowered Kids’ TV because when she needed advice and help for her own parenting, she mistakenly thought she could get it from the experts who were often on TV. She realized these "stars" didn't really know much about parenting and the actual real experts were doing deep research and she wanted to find a way to showcase them. They aren’t people just having success in the moment, when the cameras are on, but people who really know how to help parents. After featuring them on the platform, she now asks herself and others, what actions and habits can we take to develop and enhance our family without being overwhelmed by dealing with ourselves? It was a journey for her to arrive there and answer her own questions and of course, her journey continues.
One piece of parenting advice she gives is, connection is key. Not “connection” as a buzz word that it’s starting to become, but by tapping into your own default state, better known as your highest state. This is the state when you are at your truest self. Her own awareness of connection grew over time. She discovered connection isn’t just spending time together, in proximity but an understanding of yourself first. One of the most surprising things she learned from the experts she's interviewed, comes from Byron Katie. Her radical concept that you don’t have to believe your own thoughts made a great impact on Nicole. She also was surprised by learning from Dan Siegel that your entire being within itself is connected. The words you use, your body language, the tone of your voice, the twinkle in your eyes, can all create connection to the inside and the outside of your body. When we learn to use our bodies like a foreign language to communicate, we’ve really started to have a self-understanding. That connection to our own communication then spreads out to other people around us so that they are allowed to be connected to themselves.
With the anxiety that is occurring today, we are often in a state of fight, flight, or freeze which puts us immediately into disconnection. We don’t have safe access to fluffy things. Fluffy things allow us to daydream, to visualize, to feel safe etc. If you feel unsafe, as is part of our DNA, " to run from tigers", we experience disconnectedness. We may, for example, mistakenly ignite our fight or flight response when our boss says he wants to talk to us. The same response occurs when a parent stands over a child intimidating and yelling at them. It ignites a feeling of being unsafe. When we feel safe and connected with self-compassion we then have the power to change, to grow, to be resilient, to have grit, and to be self-soothing. Safety equals access to fluff. When we feel safe, emotionally, we can tap learning things like grit, and therefore, cognition is high. A parent’s inability to use the tools to connect ignites more power struggles and conflict. However, when a parent learns how to communicate and connect to themselves during high-stress situations, it helps their children. With all this in mind, Nicole has released the Connected Parent’s Behaviour Guide for Little Kids. This is a guidebook with tools for parents. It offers ways to tap into your intuition and connection and to use that as your own manual for parenting. Get your free guidebook here:
http://academy.empoweredkidstv.com/parent-guide/?ref=cara%40carapollardcoaching.com
To learn more about Nicole or to reach her: https://academy.empoweredkidstv.com/
