Evan Harrel and Laura Berland are back as guests on Mindfulness At Work to further discuss Compassionate Leadership at work. They founded and lead the non-profit organization, Center for Compassionate Leadership, and help train leaders for many corporations.
In this episode, they explain the evidence and science behind the ability to relate to others in a compassionate way. They share that it starts in the way we see ourselves. It seems so simple but it's not. It's really difficult to relate to others in a healthy manner if we treat ourselves in challenging ways. In fact, there are over 2000 research studies related to the benefits of self-compassion. How does self-compassion heighten the levels of productivity at work or depth of relationships? It's in learning that we don’t need external validation to feel nurtured and supported.
In order to exemplify this concept and how it works, Laura shares a personal story about the wild success she experienced in an entrepreneurial venture and yet she still didn't feel satisfied or validated. She regrets missing out on calm moments with her son during this time. We can be tricked into thinking, “I’m doing all of this work for my son”, but that's not the truest sentiment.
They also reference Dr. Kirsten Neff's work on self compassion. She has the most published, best research in the field, and the her website,self-compassion.org houses an entire section on familial relationships.
There is a direct tie between self-compassion, growth mindset, and resiliency. It all revolves around knowing when something doesn’t go the way we plan, how to proceed and survive it anyway. A self-compassionate person recognizes everything won’t work out just right all of the time but that they can and will recover. They learn from the situation so it isn’t costly for them in the future. Leaders are at their best when they are accepting of their own failures. They are modeling vulnerability and therefore, everyone can relate to them.
Jeff Weiner is a prime example of an executive chairman garnering amazing results for LinkedIn's culture and bottom line. He talks about his own transformation from being a difficult person without emotional intelligence skills to recognizing and becoming a compassionate leader. He has helped to bring those skills into the core values of LinkedIn. He is one of the most outspoken executives in the business world championing the importance of building a compassionate and truthful corporate culture. He learned it first-hand for himself and valued the results.
This is the type of transformation that takes place and feedback The Center for Compassionate Leadership receives from the participants in their resiliency training.
People at the top of their organizations have the opportunity to be in community with other leaders who are feeling and experiencing shared challenges and that makes all the difference. An aspect of compassion work that people don’t talk about is that it can be viewed as a sign of weakness. However, all it takes is intention and practice to recognize that in every interaction if we hone our compassion skills it is actually a strength.
Unfortunately, some leaders want the hack, to get from point A to point B and to jump over the pond of the inner work. Yet the growth is elicited by the muck below the surface. We must go through the muck to get out on the other side. As Margaret Mead states, "We shouldn’t teach people what to think, we should teach them how to think".
A warm thanks to Evan and Laura for their contributions. Register for The Center for Compassionate Leadership Resiliency Training this Fall.Do not miss it!
