Why do we keep getting in our own way — even when we want something badly? In this episode, Ted and Patrick dig into the deeper psychology of self-sabotage: what it really is, why it happens, and how to break the cycle for good. We’ll unpack: - Why “self-sabotage” isn’t a diagnosis — and what it’s really a symptom of - How fragile self-worth and old beliefs quietly shape destructive patterns - The many ways self-sabotage shows up in your career, creative work, and relationships - Why some of these behaviours feel protective — even when they hurt you - The traps that keep you stuck on repeat (and how to see them before they happen) - Practical ways to break the cycle and move forward with confidence Follow us on our Socials: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLzsGH4hM9TxHC4hHPvgMJw X: https://x.com/ManDownPodcast Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lm4shifbvs6k63eb54k2gmho Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandown.podcast/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mandownpodcast Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome Intro 00:07 Episode Intro 00:49 Ted’s Trip to Santa Barbara 02:29 When It’s Time to Stop Wallowing 02:49 Holding Space Without Holding On 03:13 How We Torture Ourselves With Old Pain 03:55 The Power of Putting It Away 04:14 Patrick’s Life Updates & Milestones 05:19 The Third Child Nightmare 06:47 When Your Partner’s Dream Turns Into Your Problem 08:24 Seeing Self-Sabotage Across Life 09:39 Understanding Self-Sabotage 10:21 Patterns of Behaviour and Fear of Failure 10:55 Self-Sabotage as a Symptom 12:35 The Inertia Behind Self-Sabotage 16:03 Embracing Failure and Taking Risks 20:01 The Fragile Sense of Self and External Validation 22:47 Embracing Failure in the Creative Process 23:42 The Cycle Of Learning and Self-Improvement 26:57 Understanding Procrastination and its Roots 27:51 Finding Limits and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome 30:16 Creating for Yourself vs. Seeking External Validation 33:06 The Impact of Procrastination on Life Choices 37:31 Self-Sabotage in Relationships 48:34 Avoidant Behaviour and its Consequences 53:11 Summary & Final Thoughts on Self-Sabotage 54:29 The Value of Vulnerability and Effort 57:49 Outro