If your husband tells you that sex is important to him, then in my view sex simply isn’t optional in your marriage if you want him to feel loved. We expect our husbands to meet our emotional needs, so we need to meet theirs. Surely real love means caring about the general well-being of our partners and giving them what they actually need, rather than what we feel like giving? If our husbands say they need sex to feel fulfilled, then they need sex to feel fulfilled. End of story. We can't just decide they're mistaken and reject what they're telling us, that would be unfair. If you had a dog that needed walking daily, you wouldn’t refuse to walk it because you didn’t feel like it and then wonder why it’s pacing the walls and chewing up your furniture. The dog needs exercise or it will go mad. There’s nothing wrong with the dog. If you are married to a good man who takes good care of you, and he tells you that sex is important to him, then in my view sex simply isn’t optional if you want him to feel loved. If we expect our husbands to be generous in meeting our emotional needs, then we need to be generous in meeting theirs.