When you’re parenting a child who struggles with substances, it can feel like you don’t have a choice. The options in front of you often feel terrible, and the weight of helplessness colors everything.
I know this firsthand—during the years of my daughter Helanna’s substance use, I felt like my life was completely at the effect of hers. Without a sense of agency, everything felt horrific, like there was no “in-between”—just unbearable.
But the truth is even when you don’t like your options, you are still choosing. And recognizing that changes everything. It shifts you from powerless to empowered. It brings back agency, softens the edges of the pain, and helps you move forward instead of feeling consumed by chaos.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• Why it feels like you don’t have a choice (and the real difference between “I don’t like my choices” and “I don’t have choices”).
• How every decision has both a cost and a benefit—and how naming those trade-offs can ease resentment and regret.
• The concept of choice stacking.
• Why waiting for certainty keeps you stuck, and how clarity actually comes after you decide.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, powerless, or waiting for your child to change before you can breathe again, this episode will help you take your power back in a compassionate, grounded way.
Resources From Heather Ross Coaching
If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below.
https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery
The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/
How to leave a podcast review
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5xkPZM8mj-E
