*Note: This episode is about my goal to reduce the tension between those who stay in the Church and those who leave**
My friend Andy Newman (married father of three, Ex-Mormon, therapist, LGBTQ ally, bridge builder) joins for a series of episodes. In this episode, Andy talks about “the shame train” during his youth including:
*Porn, substance use, and working with his church leaders
* Shame around the “addiction label”, restrictions (temple trips), and falsely seeing himself as a “terrible addict”
* How porn/substance use was more about self-medicating from the shame and trauma than a desire to displease God
* How his worth become dependent on church leaders
* All the people who helped him along the way
Andy then talks about his road to be an LGBTQ ally:
* Started in high school in Iowa with proximity to queer people
* Felt he had to choose the Church over queer people
* Powerful post-mission experience giving a blessing to a queer student at BYU-I
* Fully taking on the ally role following the pulse nightclub shooting
* Staying in the church as an ally
* What led him to eventually leave the Church
Andy also talks about why he isn’t trying to get other people to leave the Church—but trying to build bridges of understanding. In the next episode, will talk about his mixed-faith marriage (Andy’s wife is active LDS) and how they have a beautiful/supportive marriage—including Andy attending church.
Thank you, my friend Andy, for being on the podcast and your great heart and clinical skills to help heal others and bring us together as the same human family. You are a good man and friend.
Links:
Psychology today:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/andy-newman-gilbert-az/974441
IG: www.instagram.com/andynewmanlpc/
TikTok:
www.tiktok.com/@deconstruction_therapy
All content for Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler is the property of Richard Ostler and is served directly from their servers
with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
*Note: This episode is about my goal to reduce the tension between those who stay in the Church and those who leave**
My friend Andy Newman (married father of three, Ex-Mormon, therapist, LGBTQ ally, bridge builder) joins for a series of episodes. In this episode, Andy talks about “the shame train” during his youth including:
*Porn, substance use, and working with his church leaders
* Shame around the “addiction label”, restrictions (temple trips), and falsely seeing himself as a “terrible addict”
* How porn/substance use was more about self-medicating from the shame and trauma than a desire to displease God
* How his worth become dependent on church leaders
* All the people who helped him along the way
Andy then talks about his road to be an LGBTQ ally:
* Started in high school in Iowa with proximity to queer people
* Felt he had to choose the Church over queer people
* Powerful post-mission experience giving a blessing to a queer student at BYU-I
* Fully taking on the ally role following the pulse nightclub shooting
* Staying in the church as an ally
* What led him to eventually leave the Church
Andy also talks about why he isn’t trying to get other people to leave the Church—but trying to build bridges of understanding. In the next episode, will talk about his mixed-faith marriage (Andy’s wife is active LDS) and how they have a beautiful/supportive marriage—including Andy attending church.
Thank you, my friend Andy, for being on the podcast and your great heart and clinical skills to help heal others and bring us together as the same human family. You are a good man and friend.
Links:
Psychology today:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/andy-newman-gilbert-az/974441
IG: www.instagram.com/andynewmanlpc/
TikTok:
www.tiktok.com/@deconstruction_therapy
Episode 839: Jessica Frew, Podcaster, Author, New Book “Shove Your Shoulds”
Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler
44 minutes 17 seconds
2 months ago
Episode 839: Jessica Frew, Podcaster, Author, New Book “Shove Your Shoulds”
My friend Jessica Frew (life coach, former husband is gay and still “part of the family”, married mother of three) joins us to share her story of her husband coming out as gay and that marriage ending—and still staying close as they co-parent their daughter.
Jessica also talks about her important new book called “Shove Your Shoulds” which focuses on healthier boundaries, improved self-image, and deeper acceptance of ourselves and others. Jessica writes the book from her own experiences and from her work as a life coach.
I am grateful for Jessica’s voice on acceptance and understanding in our community—and encourage everyone to check out her new book (currently in presale—release date of Sept 12, 2025).
Thank you, Jessica, for being on the podcast. You are awesome.
Links:
Book website: https://shoveyourshoulds.com/
Jessica on Instagram: @heyjessicafrew
Jessica’s podcast (Husband In Law): podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/husband-in-law/id1464470280
Jessica’s earlier episode on Listen, Learn, and Love (episode 217): https://soundcloud.com/user-818501778/episode-217-jessica-and-matt-frew-active-lds-and-steve-stoddard-jessicas-gay-former-husband
Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler
*Note: This episode is about my goal to reduce the tension between those who stay in the Church and those who leave**
My friend Andy Newman (married father of three, Ex-Mormon, therapist, LGBTQ ally, bridge builder) joins for a series of episodes. In this episode, Andy talks about “the shame train” during his youth including:
*Porn, substance use, and working with his church leaders
* Shame around the “addiction label”, restrictions (temple trips), and falsely seeing himself as a “terrible addict”
* How porn/substance use was more about self-medicating from the shame and trauma than a desire to displease God
* How his worth become dependent on church leaders
* All the people who helped him along the way
Andy then talks about his road to be an LGBTQ ally:
* Started in high school in Iowa with proximity to queer people
* Felt he had to choose the Church over queer people
* Powerful post-mission experience giving a blessing to a queer student at BYU-I
* Fully taking on the ally role following the pulse nightclub shooting
* Staying in the church as an ally
* What led him to eventually leave the Church
Andy also talks about why he isn’t trying to get other people to leave the Church—but trying to build bridges of understanding. In the next episode, will talk about his mixed-faith marriage (Andy’s wife is active LDS) and how they have a beautiful/supportive marriage—including Andy attending church.
Thank you, my friend Andy, for being on the podcast and your great heart and clinical skills to help heal others and bring us together as the same human family. You are a good man and friend.
Links:
Psychology today:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/andy-newman-gilbert-az/974441
IG: www.instagram.com/andynewmanlpc/
TikTok:
www.tiktok.com/@deconstruction_therapy
