*Note: This episode is about my goal to reduce the tension between those who stay in the Church and those who leave**
My friend Andy Newman (married father of three, Ex-Mormon, therapist, LGBTQ ally, bridge builder) joins for a series of episodes. In this episode, Andy talks about “the shame train” during his youth including:
*Porn, substance use, and working with his church leaders
* Shame around the “addiction label”, restrictions (temple trips), and falsely seeing himself as a “terrible addict”
* How porn/substance use was more about self-medicating from the shame and trauma than a desire to displease God
* How his worth become dependent on church leaders
* All the people who helped him along the way
Andy then talks about his road to be an LGBTQ ally:
* Started in high school in Iowa with proximity to queer people
* Felt he had to choose the Church over queer people
* Powerful post-mission experience giving a blessing to a queer student at BYU-I
* Fully taking on the ally role following the pulse nightclub shooting
* Staying in the church as an ally
* What led him to eventually leave the Church
Andy also talks about why he isn’t trying to get other people to leave the Church—but trying to build bridges of understanding. In the next episode, will talk about his mixed-faith marriage (Andy’s wife is active LDS) and how they have a beautiful/supportive marriage—including Andy attending church.
Thank you, my friend Andy, for being on the podcast and your great heart and clinical skills to help heal others and bring us together as the same human family. You are a good man and friend.
Links:
Psychology today:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/andy-newman-gilbert-az/974441
IG: www.instagram.com/andynewmanlpc/
TikTok:
www.tiktok.com/@deconstruction_therapy
All content for Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler is the property of Richard Ostler and is served directly from their servers
with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
*Note: This episode is about my goal to reduce the tension between those who stay in the Church and those who leave**
My friend Andy Newman (married father of three, Ex-Mormon, therapist, LGBTQ ally, bridge builder) joins for a series of episodes. In this episode, Andy talks about “the shame train” during his youth including:
*Porn, substance use, and working with his church leaders
* Shame around the “addiction label”, restrictions (temple trips), and falsely seeing himself as a “terrible addict”
* How porn/substance use was more about self-medicating from the shame and trauma than a desire to displease God
* How his worth become dependent on church leaders
* All the people who helped him along the way
Andy then talks about his road to be an LGBTQ ally:
* Started in high school in Iowa with proximity to queer people
* Felt he had to choose the Church over queer people
* Powerful post-mission experience giving a blessing to a queer student at BYU-I
* Fully taking on the ally role following the pulse nightclub shooting
* Staying in the church as an ally
* What led him to eventually leave the Church
Andy also talks about why he isn’t trying to get other people to leave the Church—but trying to build bridges of understanding. In the next episode, will talk about his mixed-faith marriage (Andy’s wife is active LDS) and how they have a beautiful/supportive marriage—including Andy attending church.
Thank you, my friend Andy, for being on the podcast and your great heart and clinical skills to help heal others and bring us together as the same human family. You are a good man and friend.
Links:
Psychology today:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/andy-newman-gilbert-az/974441
IG: www.instagram.com/andynewmanlpc/
TikTok:
www.tiktok.com/@deconstruction_therapy
Episode 831: Aiden Kelly (Transgender Man) and Annalee Kelly (His Supportive LDS Mother)
Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler
58 minutes 4 seconds
5 months ago
Episode 831: Aiden Kelly (Transgender Man) and Annalee Kelly (His Supportive LDS Mother)
My friend Aiden Kelly (he/him, trans man, age 23, future in theatre) and my friend Annalee Kelly (married mother of 4, RM, active LDS, from Idaho Falls) join us to share their story.
Aiden starts and talks about:
Immense pain of gender dysphoria
Writing in his journal—and sharing that journal entry with his mother as a way to come out as a boy
Knowing sharing his pain with others would be key to getting help and making his future possible
How hormone treatment and top surgery ended the pain and have him hope
Parents support
Glad he is alive. Has hope and a future.
Advice to others who are suicidal/have no hope.
Annalee then shares about:
The long-term hatred Aiden had for his body (hair pulling, pounding on his chest, etc)
Asking advice from his Bishop (good experience)
Had to put Aiden’s life ahead of my original dreams/hopes
Generally positive ward and family support
Starting Open Arms of Idaho
Pain of the August 2025 transgender handbook policy update
“Aiden is a masterpiece”
Aiden’s Father support
Aiden is one of my heroes—a brave, talented, a good man—with a wonderful future. I’m glad you are alive Aiden and thank you for your courage to share your story. You give hope to others.
And thank you Annalee for helping us know we can love and support our LGBTQ friends and family—and how that is part of responsibility as Latter-day Saints and followers of Jesus. Thank you for all the work you and your team is doing in the Idaho Falls area to bring more love and understanding. You are all some of my heroes.
You are a beautiful family. And your story will help so many.
Links:
Open Arms of Idaho: openarmsidaho.org/
Open Arms of Idaho Instagram: @openarmsidaho
Open Arms of Idaho Facebook: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100089047401155
Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler
*Note: This episode is about my goal to reduce the tension between those who stay in the Church and those who leave**
My friend Andy Newman (married father of three, Ex-Mormon, therapist, LGBTQ ally, bridge builder) joins for a series of episodes. In this episode, Andy talks about “the shame train” during his youth including:
*Porn, substance use, and working with his church leaders
* Shame around the “addiction label”, restrictions (temple trips), and falsely seeing himself as a “terrible addict”
* How porn/substance use was more about self-medicating from the shame and trauma than a desire to displease God
* How his worth become dependent on church leaders
* All the people who helped him along the way
Andy then talks about his road to be an LGBTQ ally:
* Started in high school in Iowa with proximity to queer people
* Felt he had to choose the Church over queer people
* Powerful post-mission experience giving a blessing to a queer student at BYU-I
* Fully taking on the ally role following the pulse nightclub shooting
* Staying in the church as an ally
* What led him to eventually leave the Church
Andy also talks about why he isn’t trying to get other people to leave the Church—but trying to build bridges of understanding. In the next episode, will talk about his mixed-faith marriage (Andy’s wife is active LDS) and how they have a beautiful/supportive marriage—including Andy attending church.
Thank you, my friend Andy, for being on the podcast and your great heart and clinical skills to help heal others and bring us together as the same human family. You are a good man and friend.
Links:
Psychology today:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/andy-newman-gilbert-az/974441
IG: www.instagram.com/andynewmanlpc/
TikTok:
www.tiktok.com/@deconstruction_therapy
