I've always struggling with this horrible, aching sense of emptiness. The only way I can really describe it is a black abyss that comes over me and fills me with a sense of dread. I know I've gone through how to feel all different feelings, but this emptiness was one I could never really feel the "cure" for. I found it purposeless and strange and no one else seemed to understand the feeling I was having. I was always told to just do xyz, but after years of traveling, relationships, amazing jobs, and endless highs of life, there was never anything that could fix it. In this episode, I recap a recent enlightening conversation with a friend where she explained to me the power in surrender and letting go of control - a kind of release that can only come from the knowledge that God truly has you. She explained to me that only once you really see your vulnerability as a blessing for God to step in, rather than seeing it as a source of powerless, dread, and allowing it to fuel your desire to control will I be truly free. I'd heard surrender and let God many times throughout my life, but for some reason this was the lock and key to make it hit different. Since this conversation happened, I've finally felt peace. I've finally felt space, and it's the only thing that's interrupted my hyper-fixation on my recent breakup. I finally feel ease, calm, peace, contentment, and I just wanted to bring that to you, too.