Growing up in a household where communication was raw and honest but could've been delivered better and more considerably has taught me to always make sure It's not what im saying but how I say it that' matters and resonates. I've told people they do things that do not come off genuine without calling them "funny", "fake" or "weird". Those word's can offend people and depending who words are coming from, we start to create barriers and actions that hurt us within because we feel what someone told us countless time or just that one time very strongly is true. We associate this perspective or opinion as a form of Identity.

When we let others opinions or ways of treatment define us we can start to feel like Self Sabotage is the best way to get through (or even the only way overall). In reality, you never even gave yourself permission to Sabotage, someone started it and you continued it without any consiousness until you find yourself noticing a pattern. This is where you learn, you cannot hate yourself into a place of self acceptance and happiness, the version of you that you hope for or can imagine must be loved before it's even fully visible.

You can love yourself into a new version but you cannot hate yourself into that.