Coming out is just the beginning. Now it's time to look at some of the practicalities and some of the first, early stages of transitioning. Joe speaks with Ary Jansen from Rainbow Youth and youth worker Cooper Sides.
So your child has come out, you have managed to get through those first few awkward conversations. Now what?
When confronted with an unknown the first place most of us go is Google and it is easy to get lost in all the information. But some of the first steps are small and kind of simple.
"I didn't see it at first. It wasn't until I was hanging stuff up and then I was like, 'What the f&*k is this?'," said Pauline, "I thought this was him binding but I wasn't a hundred percent sure. I thought maybe this was a school project or something."
Ary is a transgender youth worker at Auckland-based Rainbow Youth. He works with young people and their families going through their social transition.
He understands what it is like to not have your physical appearance match up with your sense of self. Ary doesn't just help young people navigate these feelings, he also works with their families to allow them to understand.
"How would you feel if you suddenly developed breasts? Would you be okay with that or would you want them gone?" Ary once said to the dad struggling to understand what their child was experiencing.
One resource available through Rainbow Youth's Auckland drop-in centre is a community wardrobe to help people access gender affirming clothing and accessories. There are lots of options available to help transgender people present the way they feel and to do that safely.
But it is one thing to learn to present as a different gender, it's another thing to actually experience it.
Cooper Sides, a youth worker with the Canterbury District Health Board, works with kids from around 14 years old who are early in their journey.
"A lot of them are experiencing a lot of dysphoria and they are trying to figure out how to manage that and how to access healthcare" said Cooper.
But working with kids means working with their parents and unfortunately sometimes parents aren't always as supportive as they could be.
"There's some parents who don't want to find out this information from organisations like Rainbow Youth or Inside Out because they have a mindset that is 'these people are pushing this on my child'," said Cooper…