In this episode, I’m joined by Andrew Oxley — a seasoned executive coach, author of The Four Faces of Frustration, and founder of The Oxley Group. With a career spanning decades and companies like Coca-Cola, CNN and Progressive Insurance, Andrew has spent over 30 years helping leaders cut through complexity and lead with impact. We dig into the hidden trap many sales leaders fall into — showing up as the hero or the villain — and why the real shift is to become the guide in your team’s story. Andrew shares how a “morning smile” clipping in a newspaper changed his life, how your limiting beliefs are likely driving your performance issues, and why asking the right questions is more powerful than having the answers. He’s got hard-earned wisdom on leading with accountability, performance and clarity, and it’s all delivered with clarity, humour and precision. How to lead as a guide, not a hero or villain: Start by being radically honest about the role you play in your team’s results — change starts with you. Remember: your team’s performance story includes you as either a villain, hero or guide — choose wisely. Use questions you don’t know the answers to as a compass — keep asking, keep searching. Identify the real problem before trying to solve it — most leaders waste time fixing the wrong thing. Trade in limiting beliefs like “I don’t have time” for empowering questions like “Who can help me grow?” Connect leadership development to business outcomes, not just “HR initiatives”. Hold people to high expectations and support them in the growth to get there — that’s how guides lead. Timeline summary [03:00] – Leading a top sales team at 27: the ‘player coach’ phase and what it taught him [04:40] – The quote that changed everything: “Even if you win the rat race, you’re still a rat” [05:15] – The power of keeping a question front of mind: “How do I change my life?” [06:58] – “The problem wasn’t the job. The problem was me.” [12:00] – The three roles leaders play in their employees’ stories: villain, hero or guide [15:05] – Why the hero boss actually disempowers your team [16:30] – What it really means to lead as a guide: tough, supportive, accountable [17:25] – “You’ll never solve a problem you’re not trying to solve.” [18:44] – Busting the “I don’t have time” myth and how to reframe it [20:55] – If you want to double your income, go buy someone lunch and ask better questions [23:03] – Why most leadership training fails: it doesn’t move the business needle [25:52] – Start with business results, then work backwards to behaviour and leadership [27:26] – How to use AI (like ChatGPT) to help your reps diagnose their own problems [32:02] – Understanding how frustration shows up in different people and what it’s telling you [34:15] – “Thank you. Please tell me more.” The only right answer to feedback [35:00] – The billboard test: how much honesty are you willing to accept about yourself? Links & resources Free leadership training: transformingresults.com Andrew’s book The Four Faces of Frustration: Available on Amazon