#48: What if coming home means returning to where your story began?
In this episode, I connected with Hartini Kandari, a Dutch-Indonesian therapist, author and musician whose journey moves between loss and belonging.
Born in Indonesia and adopted to the Netherlands at four months old, she lost her cultural identity overnight only to spend decades finding her way back. Today, as she prepares to remigrate to Bali, her story bridges healing, heritage and faith.
Deep dive talking points:
👉🏾 Adoption and identity: how language, smell and ancestry shape belonging beyond nationality;
👉🏾 The body remembers: early loss expressed through tension, skin and voice before words could catch up;
👉🏾 The therapy of music: violin as her first language of connection and resilience;
👉🏾 Writing through wounds: creating her book 𝗔𝗱𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗲 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁 to help adoptees reflect, heal and feel seen;
👉🏾 Faith and homecoming: rediscovering God, roots and rest after decades of inner restlessness!
Nuggets of empowerment:
🙌🏾 Healing isn’t about fixing what’s broken it’s about remembering what’s whole;
🙌🏾 Sometimes our restlessness is a compass pointing us back to where our story began;
🙌🏾 Real connection starts when we stop performing and begin allowing ourselves to feel!
Hartini’s empowering quote:
🙌🏾 “With ACT therapy we don’t aim to heal what’s broken because we are not broken we learn psychological flexibility”
Books mentioned:
📚 Adoptie Impact: invites adoptees to pause, embrace both gratitude and grief, and gently reclaim their place by giving every feeling the space to exist!
📚 The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: a foundational work on the separation trauma experienced by adoptees.
👉🏾 Hartini’s path invites a question that lingers beyond adoption:
What happens when we finally return physically emotionally spiritually to the place that once felt lost? Sometimes the journey home is less about geography and more about remembering who we’ve always been.
Connect with Hartini:
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hartini-kandari-75105844/
Company website: https://www.hartini.nl
A word from our sponsor: https://neotopia.nl
Great strategies don’t fail because of process they fail when behavior doesn’t align. Neotopia helps teams turn awareness into lasting change through behavior that moves people forward.
And to all Men who want to be part of the next Women’s Health at Work session on December 3rd can find all details and registration here: