I speak my mind all the time. Do you speak up when you feel you need to?

You see something ethically questionable. Notice someone not being included. Run up against offensive speech. Disagree with an opinion that’s all too quickly become consensus. Want to add a different idea to the decision-making process.

While we’d all like to think that if we saw something, we’d say something in these situations, we are strikingly bad at anticipating how we’ll feel in future circumstances and, for a whole host of cognitive reasons, it can be incredibly difficult to speak up in the moment. In fact, research suggests that most people tend to not act, and then rationalize their inaction.

But it is important to realize how psychologically difficult — and worthwhile — speaking up can be.

That is why I talked to Joyce Kayima, a smart and intelligent lady. Joyce is a member of my church, Allsaints Cathedral, and we talked at length about getting your voice. Speaking up.

We chatted about her life as someone who used to speak but then took a step back. She took a step back because of judgements and perhaps because people needed her to speak less.