🚨 WARNING: This episode contains extreme pedagogical trauma, unsolicited life advice from teachers who peaked in 1957, and fingering nightmares that will haunt you for years. Viewer discretion is advised.

Have you ever had a teacher who only speaks in abstract metaphors? One who expects your tiny human hands to stretch like Rachmaninoff’s? Or maybe the type who proudly declares “Back in my day, we practiced 18 hours a day and only cried twice”? If so, congratulations! You’ve survived piano pedagogy horror stories, and today, we relive them together.

In this episode, we navigate:
🎭 The Teacher Who Speaks Only in Metaphors (“Your phrasing must float like an autumn leaf questioning its existence.”)
🖐️ The Demonstrator With Hands the Size of a Steinway Lid (“Just reach the 13th! Relax your hand more!”)
⏳ The ‘Back in My Day’ Purist (“I once had a student who learned the entire Goldberg Variations in an afternoon with no sleep. You should try that.”)
🎤 Masterclass PTSD (Where your performance is merely an excuse for the teacher to reminisce about their youth.)
💊 Sponsored Pianist Medications! (Because Schubertium™ and Cadenzan™ might be the only things keeping us sane.)

🔥 PLUS: A special announcement about my upcoming album, featuring Brahms, and the sound of my neighbor aggressively banging on the wall at 3 AM.

Join me for an episode filled with trauma, laughter, and the deep realization that it’s not you… it’s the piano. (But sometimes, yeah, it’s you.)

🎧 Available now—because therapy is expensive.