Are you into survival novels, portal science fiction, and Mary Poppins? Then we have the story for you! This episode includes tips for setting a world record, contacting Kevin Bacon, acing standardized writing tests, and beating level one of Crash Bandicoot. It also has classic ITMOACG gags like Theo’s harebrained schemes to skip a grade, gratuitous references to Pokemon, and at least one joke only translators can understand!

Warning: You WILL get sick if you listen to this episode!

Also in this episode: “These kids aren’t gonna dunk on me are they?”, “To get smashed in the face, go to page 5.”, “You didn’t have to use the word ‘locomotive’ at all.”, Guinness Book of World Records, Kevin Bacon, Appalachian Trail, Paul Bunyan, Snoopy, Peanuts, Mary Poppins, Pokemon, Crash Bandicoot, Nintendo Power, and COVID-19.