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IN THE UNKNOWN with Alyonka
Alyonka Larionov
35 episodes
6 months ago
Tom Lucy is the kind of guy one finds impossible to dislike. He’s kind, charming, FUNNY, engaging, and has two first names. He has a solid group of friends, a loving family, and has a good head on his shoulders. He’s career-oriented. A thinker. Driven. He’s 23. The first time we met, we began our conversation by examining our mutual, ten year separated, existential crises. Our second encounter was at a birthday dinner where I watched him concoct a last-minute birthday speech, which was perfectly (and comedically) executed. The third time we sat across one another and I badgered the poor guy for an hour on comedy and the inner-workings of his field, which led us to discuss the potential of sitting down to record the very podcast you’re about to hear. He said yes. I followed up…and, here we are. We spoke of all the things I like best: Vulnerability, Work Ethic, Family Dynamics, Relationship’s pitfalls and joys, and Wake Up calls. For 23, the dude has a lot to share without an ounce of judgement or righteousness. I’ll let you decide for yourself. Oh, and don’t bother calling him Tom. It’s Tom Lucy.
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Tom Lucy is the kind of guy one finds impossible to dislike. He’s kind, charming, FUNNY, engaging, and has two first names. He has a solid group of friends, a loving family, and has a good head on his shoulders. He’s career-oriented. A thinker. Driven. He’s 23. The first time we met, we began our conversation by examining our mutual, ten year separated, existential crises. Our second encounter was at a birthday dinner where I watched him concoct a last-minute birthday speech, which was perfectly (and comedically) executed. The third time we sat across one another and I badgered the poor guy for an hour on comedy and the inner-workings of his field, which led us to discuss the potential of sitting down to record the very podcast you’re about to hear. He said yes. I followed up…and, here we are. We spoke of all the things I like best: Vulnerability, Work Ethic, Family Dynamics, Relationship’s pitfalls and joys, and Wake Up calls. For 23, the dude has a lot to share without an ounce of judgement or righteousness. I’ll let you decide for yourself. Oh, and don’t bother calling him Tom. It’s Tom Lucy.
Show more...
Philosophy
Personal Journals,
Society & Culture
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23. ERIC NYSTROM | On the NHL, Masculinity + the Power of Positive Thinking
IN THE UNKNOWN with Alyonka
1 hour 11 minutes 10 seconds
7 years ago
23. ERIC NYSTROM | On the NHL, Masculinity + the Power of Positive Thinking
I pride myself in having a good judge of character. I can suss out someone's authenticity and genuine, sincere nature immediately, and ulterior motives even quicker. It's part of the fight-or-flight nature Eric talks about in the podcast. Some of us have it fine-tuned better than others. The latter isn't an excuse to let the mishaps slide. At the end of the day, we're all a product of our imagination. What we think and believe, becomes. I didn't know Eric's mindset and way of thinking when we first met, but I could sense a genuine care for humanity. That was enough to spark a friendship which eventually led to us sitting down to record this conversation. He is (best-known) as the son of Hockey Legend and Mr. Islander, Bob Nystrom. I, too, share this honor. Being seen, first, for our last name prior to us developing as individuals. “Of course being the son of a former Islander and Stanley Cup Champion, I lived it my whole life. I was stuck with that sigma. People are gonna say I made it because of my last name but what NHL manager is gonna draft a player just because of a last name when they’re trying to win a Stanley Cup? You know what I mean? It’s just one of those stupid things I had to face. The, ”he’s doing this because of his dad, Bob.“ People who think that, they’re just ignorant. They want to make an excuse because people don't like seeing others being successful. That’s the type of world we live in. And it’s sad.” The difference between Eric and I is that he didn't let that define him. He wore his last name with pride and continued his life in stride, laser-focusing on his own love for the game of hockey, playing because he loved it not because of his pursuit to reach a particular destination. “I was totally committed to the game.  And I think that was a big reason why I ended up making it and it was because I dialed in on it. I wanted it so bad. And it wasn’t that I set the goal— hey I need to play in the NHL. I just loved the game so much that I worked hard and that opened doors. I just wanted to win, I wanted to play. And I played with passion.“ What I find particularly refreshing about Eric is that he's not your typical a-list athlete. He knows his skills and lack thereof, and he focuses on being a "team" guy versus an individual with individual goals. It's why when one asks former teammates and media members about the kind of guy Eric was in the locker-room, they come back with a "a locker-room guy. The glue. The one who makes it about the whole experience versus an individual pursuit." “I think that’s why the reporters did come over and want to talk to me.  It’s because I was actually going to tell you something outside the box a little bit - never say something stupid - but I’m going to give you an honest answer. I think that’s one of the reasons why I stuck around in the league for as long as i did - to be in the locker room and lighten the mood, and mentor young guys and give advice. You know, be a teammate in that way. I think that was definitely part of my package. Definitely when I was being shopped around as a player and trying to find the right fit. I took pride in that. I Always took pride in being a good teammate and speaking my mind.” Now, as a retired player, not much of his optimism or his truths have changed. He's still the same guy except he's now pursuing a different life, one that allows him to scratch his curiosity which was often stifled while in the world of hockey. “On game days it’s a physical beating. Schedule’s demanding - you play a lot games but man, we spend a lot of downtime on the plane. We could have read some books a little more. Lessened the card games or tv series and actually informed or educated ourselves. I never did anything until I was thrust into school and I had to. On non-game days, you practice at 10:30, end at 1:00 . You’ve got a lot of time left. Of course tons of guys had families. I never had a kid or anything like that when I was playing so that’s a little different. I just wish there was a little more education and awareness for sure. I wish I could say I was like the poster child for that but I was right in the mix of everybody else. When you’re making that much money and you see those paychecks coming in, you think you’re on top of the world.” He's now using his lessons-learned to advise others in the game and openly talking about gender roles, masculinity, and locker-room talk. “You can imagine what’s being talked about in the locker room or when you put 20 or 30 hockey players onto a plane. We’re always around each other. You definitely get stuck in a little bit of a box. It’s good to have outside interests. Just for your own sanity. I just keep saying there’s so much out there! You don't want to be the oddball that everybody's kind of making fun of, but at the same time why are guys being made fun of for being themselves and for trying to better themselves as a person.” It's inspiring. Ice-breaking (pun intended) as it's extremely RARE to hear a professional athlete, especially an NHL'er talk so candidly and openly about the importance of Vulnerability. “If you’ve never experienced [vulnerability] I don’t think you’re human. We’ve all been vulnerable at times and feel that at our lowest. I think the one thing that does affect men - if we’re going to connect the two - is how scared they are to show it. .And I’m a victim here. Looking at it. I’m guilty. I’ve been like that. I’ve thought, you’re not supposed to show that because you’re a man. Men aren’t supposed to be vulnerable. But you’re lying to yourself if you’ve never felt vulnerable.” There's a lot here. A lot to learn from. A lot to listen to. A lot to soak in. I walked away feeling inspired and excited to share this with a group of Men who desperately need some guidance. If that's too much pressure to put on Eric, I'll take the brunt of it. Whether he recognizes it or not, he's facilitating a space for conversation, for truth-talk. Hockey world. Sports world. You paying attention?
IN THE UNKNOWN with Alyonka
Tom Lucy is the kind of guy one finds impossible to dislike. He’s kind, charming, FUNNY, engaging, and has two first names. He has a solid group of friends, a loving family, and has a good head on his shoulders. He’s career-oriented. A thinker. Driven. He’s 23. The first time we met, we began our conversation by examining our mutual, ten year separated, existential crises. Our second encounter was at a birthday dinner where I watched him concoct a last-minute birthday speech, which was perfectly (and comedically) executed. The third time we sat across one another and I badgered the poor guy for an hour on comedy and the inner-workings of his field, which led us to discuss the potential of sitting down to record the very podcast you’re about to hear. He said yes. I followed up…and, here we are. We spoke of all the things I like best: Vulnerability, Work Ethic, Family Dynamics, Relationship’s pitfalls and joys, and Wake Up calls. For 23, the dude has a lot to share without an ounce of judgement or righteousness. I’ll let you decide for yourself. Oh, and don’t bother calling him Tom. It’s Tom Lucy.