Hello fellow chaos lovers! This is a heads up that this episode contains discussions of Indigenous oppression and genocide. We know with the news of the bodies of thousands of children (with the numbers still growing) uncovered at residential schools in Canada, some people may be particularly sensitive to this topic, so we wanted to let listeners know going in. Otherwise, we hope you enjoy the general buffoonery that is this show! --- Yet another town-wide celebration is being held despite tensions being higher than ever between the North and South sides of ”fair Riverdale”. This - the writers have decided in their infinite wisdom - is the perfect opportunity to discuss colonialism and the slaughter of Indigenous people. The lack of awareness on just how high above their weight class they‘re punching continues to astound. Speaking of weight class: Football is OUT, and a new sport is IN because a certain Excellent Crime Boss has wrestlemania. Betty continues to Not Think Things Through, Jughead learns that leveraging someone else‘s intergenerational trauma for his own means is bad, actually; and we reach a whole new level of homoerotic, psycho-sexual interactions. Miranda goes off on the nature of plot twists, and is woefully ignorant about mid-20th century pornography; Evelyn reveals why Jughead really gets her goat, and admires the art of cuckoldry; and both our hosts just generally try to stop themselves from cringing into another dimension by expanding the Robo-Veronica universe, and maybe - just maybe - uncovering the identity of Jockbud92.  Content Warnings: Colonialism Emotional abuse/Manipulation Discussions of violence against Indigenous people Invasions of privacy Racism Stigmatization of sex work Music: ‘Imps‘ by Mark Revell