The work of knowing yourself is never over, and our identity, as well as what matters to us, constantly shifts and changes over the course of our lives. In this episode I talk with Paulo André, a former VP of engineering turned leadership coach, about how we can better understand our personal identity, and be aware of common pitfalls that can so often lead to burnout, like allowing our work to consume our identity to the point that we rely on burning dark energy to get by.
This episode was like a personal therapy session for me, and we dive into many deep topics such as dealing with anxiety, learning to detach from what we cannot control, and being aware of the narratives that are driving us forwards. We also talk about Paolo’s fantastic newsletter “The Hakagure” plus the practicalities of going from a 9-5 role to starting your own business. I certainly learned a lot in this episode and I hope you will too!
(00:00) Introduction
(02:26) From Engineer, to Leader, to Coach
(08:20) Why Start a Coaching Business?
(14:54) Burning Dark Energy
(21:39) Following your Intuition
(24:24) Dealing with Anxiety & Doubt
(31:36) Journaling
(36:13) Personal vs Work Identity
(43:12) Self-Worth & The Stories we tell ourselves
(48:39) Isolating Personal Identity and Professional Growth
(53:11) How to detach
(57:54) Understand, then be understood
(1:06:40) Focus on what you can control
(1:08:29) Connect on a human level
(1:10:30) Anxiety is future-facing
(1:17:32) Negative visualisation
(1:19:45) The different kinds of stress
(1:25:49) Take yourself less seriously
(1:26:23) Taking action & fearing failure
(1:32:50) Nobody’s looking
(01:35:15) Key takeaways and Book recommendations
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