I have two abusive parents.

And... I am not the only one. 

There are so many adult children with abusive parents and it is detrimental to our quality of life, our mental health and it affects so many different avenues of our life. It feels unfair, It is confusing. 

Sometimes we suffer abuse as a child and it carries on into our adult life. We often don't recognize our parent's behavior as abuse until we are adults, because we were in it, it was our normal, we were given excuses and manipulated by our parent or parents. We question whether what we experienced in our childhood that now follows through in our adult life is abuse at all. We question if it is us (the child) or them (our parents) that are unhealthy or abusive. 

Sometimes we go low contact or try to go no contact, and then take them back with the hope that we will receive the love that we deserve and be loved in the way that we so deeply long for. We feel like we owe them, we question our sanity,k we feel guilty and ungrateful because after all, they are your parents and we are meant to be kind to them because they sacrificed things in their life to bring us up. Right? WRONG!

My abuse was hidden, it started off as emotional abuse masked as a fragile and damaged mother. My parents hid my sexual abuse and protected my sexual abuser. They used help as a form of control and to hold me hostage. The more I fought for autonomy and making choices, the worse the abuse became. 

I finally found the ability and saw the logic to cut my parents off and keep my children and I safe from them. My parents are currently accessing the legal system as an attempt to coercively abuse and force me back into the game.

This podcast is designed to help others feel connected and identify abusive behaviors from outside of the stage that your parent or parents are controlling. It is designed to help me to continue to heal. It is designed to help me create a record for my up and coming legal case with my parents and in finally reporting my historical sexual abuse without the support of my parents.